sex stopped, dates cont. help? why?
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sex stopped, dates cont. help? why?
| Thu, 11-11-2004 - 11:23pm |
Please advise me; I had started a new relationship after finally gettting my self esteem back after a bad 4 yr relationship. I am 9 yrs older than he is but he said it didnt matter and was very attracted to me. He is a hard worker and apparently has a lot of money and responsibilities. After a few weeks, we became intimate and he said all the right things. This ocurred about 4 times. Then one saturday, he drove me home and kissed goodnight. He was very tired and felt his animals (he has many pets) "werent getting enough attention"... I figured it was over and was sad. But then he continued to call and we went out again to see some properties and eat. I said I would collect my things and leave. He kissed me goodnight. I left. He sent an email what a good time he had and looked forward to saturday. Why? I have invited him to thanksgiving but dont want to cont this parody if he isnt interested anymore. He isnt my boyfriend or lover anymore --what is he and why is he doing this? Does he not know how to get out of it? Do you think I repulsed him? I am so sad and confused. Should I say something? He said he hates confrontations....I hate being treated like an unappealing woman.....

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It might be that he doesn't have much of an interest in sex, that he's settling into a comfortable phase...and a GREAT PORTION of your life if you two remained together would be spent "taking care of business, meeting obligations, passing in the hall" - to lots of people - that is a great relationship.
Ask him.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
Your guy isn't into you. If he's not having sex with you any longer, he's not into you. It doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you're older than him. I'm sure you didn't repulse him in anyway....he just doesn't like you that much. Who knows why.
I wouldn't confront him. He'd deny it. He would limp along doing the bare minimum and start taking more and more things away until you absolutely had no relationship. He'd let you break up with him and then it wouldn't be his fault that things didn't work out.
Been there, done that. Cut and run.
Fivesense is right. He will continue to do the bare minimum until you have no choice but to walk away. This way he gets out of the relationship and won't have the burden of blame, saying that it just didn't work out. That's what happened to me. I walked away and he just let me go. Somebody who cared would not have let me walk away so easily.
I also think you are getting a lot of responses and opinions from women. I spoke to a lot of men friends when this was happening to me. ALL OF THEM without fail said it was never a good sign when a guy suddenly wants to stop having sex with you. They said it usually means they are getting it somewhere else and are too wimpy to tell you themselves so they let you do it.
It's NEVER a good sign!
It's hard to guess why this is happening, but I'll try...
I think this guy does like you and
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I don't know if you noticed...the original post was from November *2004* but then someone responded today (not the OP) and brought it up to the top. So the OP may be long gone.
Sheri
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