Sex too soon!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2004
Sex too soon!
5
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 4:17pm
I've been dating this guy for almost a month, and he already wants sex. His opinion is that it doesn't matter if we have sex early on in the relationship or later cause he knows he wants to be with me. He says a man can still play up to the fact that he likes a woman and does all he can do for her just to have sex and still end up leaving you. Everyone has their idea of when a couple should or shouldn't have sex in a relationship. How can I overcome this stigma of men wanting to hit and quit or just accept the chances that come along with love and new relationships?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2004
In reply to: jazzychic_1
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 8:22pm
I had someone once say that sex to a man is like eating candy - they enjoy it and do it and it does not have the emotional meaning to them as it does for us women.

I don't think you can put a timeline on when to "do it" but I do know from experience that the longer you wait the better if you want a long-term committed relationship. I would want one foot on the banana peel and the other foot on I love you. At the very least they have to be willing to be exclusive/monogamous and consistent at making future plans and calling.

At any rate, I think the point is that you have to hold off until you feel ready. This is not a point for him to discuss on an actual timeline - but how you feel. You can simply state, "I am just not ready - but I know it will be special and worth waiting for us."

I think it also helps to avoid the danger situations - like being at one's house late at night and having too much to drink.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2004
In reply to: jazzychic_1
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 11:24am
I wanted to say I really and truly appreciate your advice.

-One of the things I can do to look out for my heart is to reserve it-
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: jazzychic_1
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 3:47pm

Hello jazzychic!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
In reply to: jazzychic_1
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 5:39pm
Sweety,

It doesn't matter about too soon or not to soon in having sex. The only matter is are you Sure? Is that also you WANT to?

Please don't have sex if you don't want that.

Good Luck..

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
In reply to: jazzychic_1
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 10:55am

It's not unusual for a man to want sex after dating you a month. But

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