Shd I take the initiative - Am nervous

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2005
Shd I take the initiative - Am nervous
12
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 2:57am

I had written sometime back about this guy I saw at a party....when we exchanged these glances all evening. But never got to talk.
I am restless, becoz I want to meet him again, know him, talk to him. Does he feel exactly the same? I am not too sure yet.

We are part of an association here. I could write to this 3rd person who, I am guessing, has a friend's friend who knows him directly. Can anyone advise what words I can use without sounding fishy or desperate to know him. I know this 3rd person's email address and he is an acquaintance of mine. And becoz we have a working relationship, I need to choose my words carefully and not encourage gossip.

Please advise....
I am really nervous. I dont even know if I can get myself to write this mail either. But as each day passes, I feel I must do something.

Thank you so much...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2005
Tue, 01-10-2006 - 11:01am

I agree..
I don't want to "pursue" as such. It doesn't feel very right to go too far. And then in the past, that hasn't worked well either. This time, I will make sure I keep my emotions under control and just be a lot more casual and be able to pull it off. The least I do wanna do, is show some interest in him and show my availability. I would be walking that thin line between showing my interest and coming off as "pick me!". It's not that easy...

I feel that perhaps he is thinking I am taken already, since I was hanging with my guy friend, who could easily look like a BF. So I feel I must signal to him my interest & availability for sure. I am hoping he will perhaps take an initiative to "find out" too if I am really single. But the only people who know about something this personal, are the ones who run the association. Unless he talks to them, I don't believe he will know the real truth. And how would he know anyway, that he should talk to them. And something tells me, he is a bit shy and reserved so wont do that(even if he wants to). He wont put himself on the spot like this. He might perhaps be thinking he needs to 'wait n watch' and figure it out for himself.

A club meeting does not seem to be looming in sight. Today, I will be meeting with the association folks regd some work. They are the ones who run the thing, so I am sure they know about him very well. But I don't think I have the guts to mention him, without having that smile on my face. I can't act. I am such a mouse :-) :-(

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Tue, 01-10-2006 - 12:11pm
I'm sure there will be another party and if he comes, be sure to talk to him next time. If you chat with him at the party, it will be less threatening (to him) than e-mailing or calling him.

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