Is she interested or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2007
Is she interested or not?
6
Thu, 10-18-2007 - 3:21pm

O.K. This is my first post ever. Sorry it's long.

A co-worker of mine told her single cousin about me and that I had just gotten out of a relationship. She told her cousin that I was a great guy and her cousin told her to tell me to request her on myspace. I do and we exchange messages and I eventually get her number.

She says to call her anytime I'm not busy so I wait a day and a half and I call at around 10. She doesn't answer. She then leaves me a message on myspace saying that she sorry she didn't answer and she didn't see the missed call till late and she didn't want to call back late. I call again the next night and no answer. I tell my co-worker about this and she says she's very busy and it's even hard for her to get a hold of her and she says to try it again. My co-worker also tells me she is shy and that the women in her family play hard to get.

On Friday I call again and get her on the phone and we talk for a few minutes and I ask her out on a date. She says yes and I tell her we can go out next Saturday cuz I'm busy this weekend and she agrees. Anyways the date day comes along and my co-worker tells me her cousin is nervous cuz she's never met me and people don't look the same as they do in pictures. (It's basically a blind date.)

We finally go out and have great conversation and we enjoy each other's company. We went to go get a bite at a cafe and we stayed for around 2 and a half hours talking. She even tells me I look better in person than in pictures. When I get back to work on Monday my co-worker tells me that her cousin told her she had a good time on the date. On Tuesday, I call her and ask for a second date and she says maybe??? I tell her that means a no and before I hang up she says "maybe" does not mean no and she just has to think about it a little. She says good things take time and to be patient. I'm thinking I just want a second date.

The situation is that she is 20 years old and i'm 24.

She is a single mother of one.(It was a high school mistake)

She works and goes to school full-time.

There are no other men in her life right now.(I know cuz my co-worker told me)

One thing that does bugs me is that I always initiate contact. Be it phone or text message. I know this is a killer but her cousin did say she was shy and when we do talk or message each other we have great conversation and she doesn't ignore my texts. She always answers back.

Oh and i forgot to mention that when we were on our date, she asked me when my last relationship was to which I answered a little over a month and a half. When I asked her, she said 3 years!!! It's weird because she is ultra beautiful but my thinking is she hasn't been in a relationship because of her baby. My co-worker also told me she's had bad luck with guys in the past which is why she introduced my to her.

Is there any hope????????

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Thu, 10-18-2007 - 3:43pm

Well I'm not sure there's hope. She is already throwing yellow flags on the play that you are not even involved in yet. Hence your confusion.


First, STOP TALKING TO THE CO-WORKER. That is so high schoolish and your a man.


Second, Do you want a woman you is so difficult? I mean she may be beautiful but she is definitely making dating her hard. Dating is hard enough without all the confusing signals she is giving.


I was once a single mother and very young and maybe a little gun shy of guys b/c of my dating history but that NEVER prevented me from going out on a second date for crips sake. It wasn't until I would start liking the guy that I would start to panic. She is panicking way before she needs to. This might be a sign for you to dump and run.


So, you sound intrigued by her confusing signals. If you just have to know then hang in there and you will find out. If you don't want to play the game the call the game due to lightning. LOL


Maybe you should try not talking about her to your co-worker and stop calling and going to her myspace. It drives me crazy when a guy disappears for a few days. I think Why haven't I heard from him? Is he done with me? It usually will go one of two ways. I will decide I like him and try to get in touch or I will realize I didn't like him enough and it doesn't bother me not to hear from him. Either way you will know in a few days. If co-worker cousin asks you "What's up my cousin hasn't heard from you" just say "Oh man I'm just really busy" Kinda a taste of her own medicine. I HATE playing games but if you like them then Good Luck................

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 10-18-2007 - 3:53pm

Personally, it sounds like she's got a lot of drama, game playing and just regular life stuff going on in with her.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Thu, 10-18-2007 - 4:05pm

women who play hard to get are doing just that - playing. If you wish to constantly 'prove' your interest, love and devotion to someone, then she's a good candidate. Adults do not play games in relationships - they do not test and require 'proof' of someone's interest.


If you enjoy this kind of constant pulling and frustration - keep seeing her. If you like to spend your time with women who are more mature emotionally, you will not find this kind of game playing. Games are for children. Relationships are for adults. she sounds like she's more trouble than she's worth right now.


FWIW, I tend to think her problems with men are due to her game playing and immaturity - not her kid.



Toni




Edited 10/18/2007 4:08 pm ET by tonitoons

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Thu, 10-18-2007 - 4:59pm
I would be really turned off if I asked someone out and they said "maybe."
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Thu, 10-18-2007 - 5:47pm

I agree - your comment reminds me of motivational speaker who was told by

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 1:55am

Honey, having a child is a full time job and once a woman has a child and she's a responsible mother the child will take all her time and