Is she just a friend ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Is she just a friend ?
3
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 1:23am
My husband is still friends with all his ex-girlfriends, and almost all his friends are girls. Well a few monthes ago one of his friends called constantly, we are talking everyday. Well when i told him it made me fell uncomfrtable with her calling so much, so he told her. That is when she started calling his cell phone, while he was at work so that I wouldn't be there or find out. I didn't find out for a while till he left his phone home one day, and she called about the time he usually went on lunch break. She also moved to the town we live in, only after she found out he live here. I don't want to tell him I am jealous of his friends, but I kinda am they seem to get more attention than me, hell women in general. what should I do?

Kjd2kjb2004
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 7:46am
Normally I'm okay with female friends, HOWEVER if you questioned WHY she was calling so much and instead of respecting YOUR relationship and back off a little and assure you she isn't intruding on your relationship she started being sneaky and calling his cell phone. A) why hasn't he stopped this? and B) I wouldn't trust her. She's going to great lengths to continue calling frequently and secretively so I would think she has a hidden agenda. If it's not out in the open, there is a reason.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 11:04am
Hi,

I have to agree with sweet karma. If she is now calling his cell phone and the way you found out was because he left his cell phone at home, not because he told you himself, I would be very suspicious. Do you have many male friends and if so does he have a problem with your getting calls from them? I think you are being too understanding especially knowing she moved to your town knowing he lives there too. If you don't say anything, he will never put a stop to it. You are his wife and therefore have a right to be jealous and demand more of his attention. Good luck to you. Lucy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 6:04pm
I am only wondering what HER agenda is? Is she seeing that he's a wonderful provider and husband and is hoping to lure that for herself? Or is she just trying to keep in touch with an old friend?

I think another chat with your husband is in order. Don't fight with him over the issue, just tell him that you are trying hard to be understanding, but feel that maybe this woman is hoping for something that maybe your husband doesn't realize. He may just think she's wanting to be friends, but she's not.

That said, you could always try to get to know this woman for yourself. Invite her to come and hang out with the two of you and you can see her body language towards your husband. Try to set her up with a single guy if she is single herself.

I really hope that they both can understand where you are coming from.

alison

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