She says to me "i cant read you"??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
She says to me "i cant read you"??
6
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 3:12am
I can't read you" "I don't know what to make of you"

The woman I'm currently seeing said this to me last week, and normally I would blow something like this off.

Unfortunately, I heard the exact same thing from the last woman I was with, so I'm getting paranoid...

What the heck does "I can't read you" "I don't know what to make of you" mean?

She jokes around that I'm a player, which really is 180 degrees from what I really am.

Is she just unsure of my intentions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 3:50am
Sounds like you're giving major mixed signals. Your actions and your words are not matching. Do you show you want more than what you're saying? Do you say you want more than what you're showing?

It seems your actions are telling her you're not all that serious about her.

Under what circumstances did she say that? Was it something specific you said or did?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 11:29am
yes,
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 12:06pm
Well, to me that says you're not doing a good job of being open and honest with her about your feelings and intentions, and since your previous gf said the same thing, this is probably a pattern with you.

Try being straight with her about what you're thinking and feeling; I bet that will go a long way towards alleviating the problem. If you find that you just *can't*, then counseling might be a good idea.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 12:48pm
It means "I'm a codependent chameleon that wants to appear to be what you want and need - so that I'll get what I want and need out of you. A) identity b) success c) security 4) completion."

It oughta scare you - it basically means that she wants to by association "be you" and live vicariously through you and to the extent that she "melds" to you - she expects you to meld/conform/adhere to her so that her needs are met.

Why "read people"? If you're secure - you "communicate" with people!

I know - I was her.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 3:53pm
I get that same thing too. I dont know....Maybe it's just how i am, and your probably the same. I get told im nonchalant and aloof!

Well hey, atleast we got that mystery thing going, which drives women up the wall because they cant figure us out. They then try whatever possible to get to know you more. Make them work for it, aslong as it's worth digging for.

My biggest problem, is all my girl/friends want a relationship with me. They will stop all contact with me, because i wont cross that line. They are my friends and they wont accept it. I have to re-initiate the contact with them, be it, weeks, sometimes months.

Then they get upset at me, and accuse me of ignoring them?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 4:06pm
You're a joke......because if the girls that you call "friends' and you want nothing more than just platonic friendship without "benefits" of any sort attached were truly your friends in your estimation - if they are "wanting more" you'd back off and wouldn't reinitiate until they've moved on, found someone else, so that "you" are not what they consider when they think about their future.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com