She Told Me She Loves Me? Huh?!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
She Told Me She Loves Me? Huh?!!
14
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 4:57pm
Statements from my girlfriend,

"I love you"

"I know you don't believe in intercourse before marriage, but you are THE one, so if you want to have intercourse, it's okay with me."

"You are everything I want. You are the one."

All of the above statements were made after she had a few drinks in her.

The following statements wer made sober.

"I'm falling for you."

"Your romantic letter made me cry."

Here's the deal. I'm always the one to initiate contact. I'm always the one to grab her hand. Unless, of course, we've been drinking, then she attacks me.

I don't like this pattern. Does she really love me? She tends to be an introvert, but to use the strong words she uses when she's drinking.. man.. it hits my heart. I'm confused right now and hurting a bit because I want to hear it from her sober.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 5:48pm
Remember this my friend: DRUNKEN MINDS LEADS TO SOBER THOUGHTS!

Oh girl does not know what she wants. She seems to have drinking issues as well. I would chill out on her for a while then have "the talk". You need to be clear on your place in this relationship. You do not have time to be bulls?????? around. You have feelings too!

Take care!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 6:09pm
Drinking makes people lose their inhibitions and say and do things they normally wouldn't while sober. She may very well mean every word she says while drinking (how drunk was she??)

you know, you could always ask her about what she said when she's sober. Communication can be a wonderful thing! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 7:06pm
Thanks.

My response when she told me she loved me was that I loved her too. I told her the next day when we were both sober that I meant what I said. She also stated she meant what she said.

It's different to say, "I meant what I said" than it is to say "I love you" again.

When she told me she loved me, she was buzzed but not drunk... but pretty darned buzzed.

Love... ugh... it's great and it sucks.. and I wouldn't trade it for a thing, but.. I need to have a long talk with her.

Arg!!! Peace everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 10:18pm
How long have you been dating? Does she drink a lot?

I think a talk is due (sober!). You can't tell whether she meant it or not really. It could be that she did mean those things but didn't feel confident enough sober to say them. Or it could be that she doesn't really mean them but just got carried away. You'll never know until you ask . . . good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 5:37pm
We've been dating for 45 days. We both have felt this strong emotion of "this is THE one". She just has said it more than me.. I've been playing it a bit more cool.

She doesn't have a drinking problem.. I probably drink more than her.. I just don't say those things though!

Over the past 24 hours, I feel as if she really is reaching out to me. I guess she really may love me. She called me at work today just to say hi and to hear my voice.

Last night she said she felt me when she was alone.. and she always wonders what I would do in a certain situation.

I guess she really may love me :))))

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 7:10pm
I think it is a bit early for proclamations of love, to be honest. Be patient. I hope things work out with you two. :)



iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Wed, 03-17-2004 - 10:55am
This is the athletic trainer you posted about a week ago, right? How often has she done this much drinking with you? Does she have a drinking problem?

People will do things when they've been drinking they wouldn't do sober. Some women get very drunk easily. I would find out more about her drinking, whether it's a problem for her, and you. But don't take her behavior while drinking as what she is "really" thinking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Wed, 03-17-2004 - 11:56am
Thanks for the input.

I know it has nothing to do with a drinking problem. We see each other 4-5 times a week.. we drink maybe 1-2 times and when we do it's always 1-2 drinks. There are the few occassions where we had quite a few more, 4-6 drinks, and that's when she really says the deep words of love. The few times we had more to drink, we weren't slurring our words or acting silly, we just we very loose.

I need to take those words at face value. The fact that I'm even posting the question is probably a good indicator that I'm not 100% positive of her love. That's okay too... I guess I get a bit confused when I hear it and don't feel it sometimes.

It's early in the relationship. I'm thankfull for what I have. It's just nice to get feedback from everyone.

Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Wed, 03-17-2004 - 12:57pm
Doesn't sound like that much drinking to me. People say things when they've had that much that they wouldn't say otherwise. But it's probably just an exaggeration of what she would say ordinarily. Sounds like it to me from what you've said.

You've only known her for 45 days, right? Long enough to get really involved but not long enough to know what's going to happen. Why not just try to relax and enjoy it? It doesn't sound like she's done anything to cause any great anxiety. Am I missing something? So, I'd say take it easy and don't try too hard to figure everything out. It's impossible, and it's a lot of work trying.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Wed, 03-17-2004 - 1:18pm
Actually, I think that 4-6 drinks is a lot. I don't think that most women who are just casual drinkers can handle drinking that much and not be drunk. I personally can't handle drinking that much, period.


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