Should he call when he is traveling?
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| Wed, 07-14-2004 - 1:10pm |
He is very bad at calling me, always has been. He'll call me maybe 2 to 3 times a week, mostly to close to the end of the weekend or to return a call. He is in advertising and his job does require a lot of this time, including going out with clients at night.
This past 4th of July, we spent the weekend together and it was great. He then left last week on a 12 day long business trip to New York. He said he would call me from New York, but it has been 7 days since I have heard from him. He is very independent, and I do not want to call him and appear needy. Besides he said he WOULD call from New York.
What does this mean? Is he dumping me? I mean even if he is extremely busy with work and catching up with friends, doesn't a guy miss you enough to call?
I feel like I don't matter that much to him at all. Please, Please , advise.

I fully believe in not calling a man. So don't call him.
Also my best advice is go out and buy "Why men love bitches" By Sherry Argov read it absord it and then use it.
I suggest letting this guy sweat a little, when he does call (and he will) don't be available,either cut the conversation short or don't see him when he suggests. The best thing I learned from the book is that men don't respond to words they respond to no contact.
By no means am I suggesting you be what you think a typical bitch is, be nice and ask him about his trip don't tell him you are upset he didn't call. You have a life and you were living it while he has been away and you hardly noticed he didn't call. He'll start to realize that you haven't been waiting around for him when you aren't available to get together when he suggests. He'll start to wonder if he is losing you- let him wonder.
Anyway, buy the book she explains it much better than I do.
So don't go thinking that that's it, it's over. Give the guy a chance to call. And maybe this is a point you should bring up with him when he does return.
I KNOW the feelng. Its quite confusing. And its hard to understand because women, well we'd call while we're away. Men just don't (normally). I had one boyfriend who called when he traveled and he did every other week for work since he was a consultant. But that was the only boyfriend or person ive dated that has. Every pther person didn't call or i'd call them while away.
Eventhough I know the guy not calling while away doesn't mean hes not interested in me ... I still get antsy if I haven't heard from the guy in a week or so. Its just how I am. And how you are too.
I think that the other 2 responses of howt o handle are good.
Try not being available. I know it seems like a big game, but sometimes you need to let a person miss you. If you think about it, you've got the same ritual everyday - pick something, anything... everyday its just like 'oh ok im doing this'. Becomes very habitual. It neither makes you upset/angry/hurt/happy> It just IS. well, sort of take that as an analogy to dating. You are consistenly availabel to someone and well it just IS. nothing more , nothing less. But if you take away that daily ritual or the availability ind ating... you prob start to miss it or them, or at leaset know its gone at some pt.... When you start doing the activity again or hear from the person... You are much happier - you don't take it for granted as much.
So think of it as a way to not only make some time concentrated on YOU only, but also, creating some space to let the guy miss you. Guys do this because its kind of how they are. They don't need constant reassurance, not that you do, but as women we tend to need more assurance than men. Unless a guy hears differently, he assumes its fine. If it ain't broken, dont fix it. Their motto for everything including relationships. So start working on things for you this week, and go out with some friends you haven't seen in awhile or family. Leave your cell at home, dont check your email.
Have fun!