Should I be mad?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Should I be mad?
4
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 1:02pm
Help! I am in the best relationship I have EVER had and we are totally in love. However, this is a long distance relationship. Both of us are in school and only see each other about once or twice a month. My problem is he has friends that are girls that come over and stay at his apartment (on the couch) and he thinks I'm overreacting by getting upset. Should I be upset? All of these girls know that I am his girlfriend and he talks to me while they are there. I just can't help to be scared that something might happen and he will cheat on me, even though he has never given me any reason to think this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 1:58pm
Why does he have so many girls at his place? Does he not have any guy friends? Do these girls not have a place to stay on their own? Sounds a bit immature and he is also disrespecting your wishes, lovebird, if you have told him you are uncomfortable with this. Sounds to me like he is exploring his options. You guys are in college and 'in love' (nausea sets in)? Suggestion: Next time he calls you don't answer, tell him you were out with guys, or have guys at your place. See what his response is.

Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 2:16pm
Well he could certainly cheat, but then why tell you they are there. You aren't about to just drive by so he doesn't even need to tell you right?

You certainly have the right to feel whatever you want about the situation, but I wouldn't automatically assume he's cheating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 2:19pm
I disagree. That's the immature and playing games way to handle situations.

If you don't like it, I'd have a conversation with him about it the next time you see him and are at his place, not over the phone and definitely not playing "guess if I am at home".

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 2:28pm
The problem here is that he's not treating his female friends any differently than his girlfriend. Having them crash at his place could be harmless enough- on HIS part, but these girls might have alterior motives.

If you have mentioned to him that you feel uncomfortable with the situation and he cannot respect that and tone it down, then he's going to continue disrespecting you.

How does he react when you hang out with the boys?

Alison

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