should i be suspicious

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
should i be suspicious
21
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 7:13am

I have been with my new boyfriend for around 3 months now and we are (or think we are exclusive). He is the first guy I enjoy being with after my divorce a few years ago (no children).

I feel that he is hot an cold. He always sets the tone of our relationship, always sets when we will meet up i.e can't today but lets meet tomorrow.On the one hand he hints at living together then an hour later asks if i will get new plants for my balcony to grow in time for next summer.

When we don't spend time together he does call but for some reason i feel he is emotionally distant - its just a gut feel and i can't put my finger on it. He did mention in the beginning that he felt inadequate towards me, I am more educated and have a strong career. He has stated that I am the prettiest and most interesting girl he has had a relationship with. I don't understand all of this as he has a great job and is cute - i have told him this. My approach to the relationship is easy going I see him when he wants and I dont harrass him with phone calls etc. I have been upfront about my feeling towards him

His past is kind of strange (in my view anyway) he was living with a woman 17 years his senior for 12 years he is 38 I am 34. They broke up around 18 months ago but I feel there is still contact somehow. He says he doesn't believe in marriage etc etc, but says he sees us together in 10 years from now.

I am just confused with the mixed messages...

I don't know why but I feel that something is wrong, that he is holding back

Should I talk to him or will i scare him away for good I really don't know what to do

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 12:00pm
Communication - in a casual but direct way - is really the only way to know what's going on in the other person's head.
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