Should I be upset?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Should I be upset?
2
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 2:08am

I have a question for anybody that would like to help me out...

This guy I have been dating on and off for over a year now has really made me upset. Before we met last year, he went traveling to Europe for 3 months. During that 3 months he and his friend met two girls that were traveling as well. One of the girls wanted to go to Morocco and offered to pay for 2 weeks for my guy and his friend to go with her, so they went. During that time my guy told her that she was welcome to stay at his house anytime she was in the states (she travels ALOT!) So now (a little over a year later) she's here, and he wants to keep his word to her about staying at his house. He and I are not "officially" boyfriend and girlfriend, but the feelings and emotions of dating are all there. I told him that I was fine with him picking her up at the airport and hanging out with her, but that I was EXTREMELY uncomfortable with her staying at his house for i dont know how long she will stay. I asked him if he could ask her to stay at a hotel to make my mind more at ease and he said "No". He assures me that nothing went on when they travelled together and that they are just friends and how much he loves me, But for some reason I am getting so angry and upset over this. I even told him that I wouldn't talk to him if he went through with letting her stay at his house. His response was "Well, than it is what it is, but I'm not changing my mind" He keeps telling me that he wants me there to hang out with him and her, but I have absoulutely no desire to now. Ahhhh! Am I over reacting, or is this guy crazy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: aimzee
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 11:35am

I can see you being upset about this. Since your relationship is not "official" he feels he can take liberty with you and your heart. His behavior is indicating that he does not intend to take your relationship to the next level by insisting upon this woman staying with him. I wouldn't believe his story about he and her not sleeping together. Men generally dont go out of their way for a woman unless they are interested in sleeping with her.

Since you are experiencing the pangs of love, this will be a difficult decision for you. If he is not willing to take your feelings into account, then you really have no real options besides accepting that you and he are not equals in your relationship or break up with him. Now, if you break up with him, during this time, he will definitely sleep with her. IMO, he doesn't seem like such great guy or romantic partner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: aimzee
Sun, 07-22-2007 - 7:33am


It's definitely understandable while you're jealous and threatened but he might be seeing this as someone telling him what to do, which might not sit well.


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