Should I call or wait for him to call ..

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2001
Should I call or wait for him to call ..
10
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 12:21am
Last week it was my last time at a company I was working for 5 months. The thing it was temporary and I was covering a maternity leave. I made good friends there, even a few admirers I had. There was a particular guy, that even though he directly dont work inside the company, do work for the company, his duties are to go to the company twice a day to pick up correspondence and do other work duties, since he is a messenger of a branch office of the company I was working for. He always flirted me, hinting me he likes me, I dont know really if he was just flirting or he was really into me, and like me, he never told me straight. But his flirts were a everyday thing.

I left the company last Thrusday. When I told the guy I was leaving the company, he told me how was that possible, he could not believe it.

We exchanged phone numbers and eventhough he does not have cell phone, just his home ph number, I do have cell phone and I gave it to him. He told me he would call me. I know is soon because I just left the company last week, but do you think that I should call him, if the time passes and he does not call, or I just wait until he wants to call me, if he remembers to call me.

If I call him what to say? It will be the first time I call this guy. I dont want to sound desperate or to evident for him, I jsut want to sound like a friend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 9:39am
there's nothing wrong with calling him...but I feel that he knows you're interested because you gave him your number and if he wants to flirt some more he would call.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2001
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 3:26pm
Perhaps he knows im interested because we exchanged phone numbers, but he told me he would call, so far he hasnt called, is too soon I guess becuse I just left last Thursday.

That is why I wanted to know if I should call him instead, not now is too soo but later in time, like 2 weeks from now or in a month, just to say hi to him, greet him. Of course he will be surprised that I call him, he wont be expecting. I dont want to sound desperate or too obvious.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 5:45pm
I don't think it's too soon for either one of you to have picked up the phone...if you're into each other, the sooner you know, isn't that best?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2001
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 11:29pm
Something happened today unexpected. It was afternoon, then the phone rang. It was one of my former coworkers (but not the messenger). It was one of the admirers I left at the company, he called me ask me how I was doing, If I was having a good time, since I was kind in vacations. This guy Im not interested in any way, he is a married guy and I dont know how he found my number. Well in order to be polite I just kept talking to him and tell him I was ok. etc we did not talk about anything else. Then since he was on a cell phone I heard he was surrounded by many people, because I heard noise over the phone.

So I asked him: "Hey what was that noise?" Then he said: They are my coworkers who are speaking and because this cell phone catches a lot of reception is why you hear noise".

Then he mentioned the name of the messenger. Coincidentaly, at the moment this man called me the messenger was at the company and in his office. The guy who called me, told me indeed the messenger was next to him. I told this guy to tell the messenger I send my greetings and then the guy said: "No way, why you want to say hi to him? Then he joked and told me he is jealous. Again I told him to tell the guy I say Hi. Indeed the guy told him that on my behalf (well that is what I thought he did), but the messenger did not know who the guy was talking to. he thought it was somebody else but me.

Afterwards I finished the conversation with this guy and minutes later the phone rang. This time it was the messenger, I did not expect him to call me. He told me that after I finished talking with the other guy, he (the messenger) asked the other guy who was he talking to minutes earlier and only at that time he told him he was talking to me. When I told the guy over the phone to give my regards to the messenger, he never did.

The messenger called me to tell me how come Im talking to the other guy, how come Im interested in him (which is not true at all, the guy is married as I told you I kept talking to him very polite, I was not going to hang up, that would have been rude, we just talked about how was I doing after leaving work, that was the focus on the conversation). Either the was jealous or again he was just flirting and teasing with me this time over the phone. I mean I never expected the messenger calling me right after I finished the conversation with the other man. Why did he call, is that a sign he is interested or again he was just flirting?

Then the messenger ask me when I was going to visit the company in order for him to see me again.

That phone call from him was so unexpected and weird I could not make sense out of it.

What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 12:24pm
I think if he is interested, he should make an effort to come visit you.
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2001
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 7:19pm
Im starting to believe the guy is way to shy to ask me out even to grab a cup of coffee.

I dont understand him, at work, he flirted with me constanly and every day. From his hints I end up thinking he is interested in me, he wanted to exchange phone numbers once I left the company, we did. Then what happened the yesterday, he called me unexpectadly for the incident that just happened with another former co worker. At the end of the conversation we said to each other: "Ok, good bye and lets keep calling". During the time I worked in that company, he never ever asked me out to go out on a Saturday, for example.

So Im thinking he is very shy to act. I guess that If I call him first some day he will be thrilled to hear me but I dont want to be the one always with the initiative. I think he is very very shy to ask me out, or he is embarrased I guess.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Fri, 06-11-2004 - 9:27am
I would maybe take initiative once but honestly, I like a guy who is interested in me to have enough cojones to ask me out.
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2001
Fri, 06-11-2004 - 12:23pm
I know I would like that too that at least he ask me out and that is what I dont udnerstand about him. Why if he acted interested in me, flirted, wanted my phone numbner, etc, why he is behaving the way he does, he does things that it seems he is interested but on the other hand, he does not ask me out or tell me straight he is interested in me. I really dont get it. Is he shy, embarrassed or what? What type of guy is he?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Fri, 06-11-2004 - 12:31pm
Listen, I date one of the SHYEST guys out there when it comes to women.
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2001
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 3:16am
So you think this guy that seems intersted in me, is not really interested because he is not bold enough to even ask me out? I know the guy and believe me he seems like a shy man to women. Because of the way he is, Im starting to believe he has never had a girlfriend before.