Should I cut him off or wait it out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Should I cut him off or wait it out?
4
Fri, 05-05-2006 - 3:59am

I written on here back in April about a guy I met from a dating website...we met in person, met his friends hung out at a bar, had a good time, ect, ect.

I'm just a little confused and not really sure what to do. The guy still calls me...he does most of the calling, but hasn't asked me to hang out again. I asked him a couple of weeks ago if he wanted to hang out (I had surgery this past Monday and he knew this) anyway he told me that he had to work sat. (which I already knew) and that he'd be helping his parents working on their house-he said he'd maybe and told me he'd give me a call sometime over the weekend, I took that has he wouldn't so I made other plans wasn't about to sit at home all weekend. Anywya he called me sunday nite, but I was over at a friends house. I called him after my surgery we talked for a few (I was really out of it). So I went ahead and went home with my parents-they live an hour from me and I figured he wouldn't call me, I didn't call him because I didn't want to come off as being desperate (I don't have a cell). He did call me this past Sunday, left me a mess. I don't know these last coupel of weeks have been crazy for us both (being busy) so every time he calls Im not around, course I feel bad. I guess my question is...since he hasn't made plans with me or ask me to hang out..should I assume he's not intrested and just cut him off nicely, because if he's not then he's wasting his time by calling me or maybe he's calling just to be nice...I don't know????

What should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-05-2006 - 12:36pm

radelle1981...

Pianoguy thinks you need to ask yourself if the phone calls you're getting---are phone calls you want to accept?

If the answer is YES....then continue to talk and expect nothing more than TALK!

If the answer is NO...end all conversations quickly! The man will get the hint sooner or later.

It's entirely possible 'your phone friend' gets a kick out of hearing your voice, but has no desire to take the relationship between the 2 of you any further? Which means...YOU either have to terminate it...or allow it to continue indefinitely???

And your choice is?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 2:39am

Dear Pianoguy,
Thanks for the reply, I have always enjoyed hearing your thoughts, opinions, and giving your advice.

I decided to give this friend of mine a shot..I mean last few weeks it's been hard to talk, I was recovering from surgery and staying with my parents, he called to check on me but I wasn't home. Anyway we got to talk tonite, it was a good talk. He said he was glad to hear from me and I was glad to hear from him. We talked about going out again. I felt it was right to ask him, I mean he asked me first so I was doing a common curisty thing..kind of and just basically I had fun the first time we met. I believe that if he didn't have fun the first time we met, he wouldn't be calling me and it just hasn't been a call here and there, it's been him calling me 1-2 times a week,and we met up a couple of weeks ago. So given with his age (32) the least he could have done was ending all conversations asap...I could be wrong. I know you probably think I'm crazy and should have let him ask me out, but given his situation and him being rejected he probably thought I'd reject him if he did ask me out.

Anyway, let me know what you think Pianoguy and anyone else who reads this.

Radelle1981

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 7:50am

radelle1981...

First...Pianoguy hopes you're feeling a little better today and that you're mending well from your surgery?

To be honest...I think the 32-year old likes having your friendship. But unless he's incredibly shy (due to the age difference between you), my best guess is that friendship is the ONLY thing that will exist between you two.

If you're REALLY INTERESTED in another date, why not bring up the subject the next time he calls you? When you ask the question...the man will have to provide some sort of an answer.

Best wishes and warm thoughts...

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 10:25am

Oh my! Hhaah Sorry Pianoguy..I was pretty happy with our conversation..that when I replyed to you..I didn't finish telling you the good news...sorry...I did ask him if he wanted to go out and he told me yes. I just casually asked him.

Radelle198