Should I email a thank you after date?

Avatar for halliej25
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2003
Should I email a thank you after date?
4
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 3:26pm
I had a great 1st date with a guy on Saturday, he did the initial asking out. We met randomly and all he had was my email, so he found it and contacted me but didn't ask out right away. My point is that, he took the effort to find it but he was shy enough not to ask out right away...

Flash forward to Saturday, we had a great time,excellent conversation, he was so inquisitive and full of questions, we both laughed a ton, he talked about going out again/mentioned specifically a place he wanted to show me, etc, when he laughed, he would occasionally touch my knee...all the good signs. I gave him the opportunity to end the date at one point (just told him, it was cool if he was tired and wanted to go home since we were in his neighbhorhood) he said he didn't so we went out for more drinks. When it was finally time to end it, we parted ways with a simple goodbye, which I'm not used to (probably a sign of the people I date). Usually, I'm turnign down offers to go "back to their place" I didn't know how I was supposed to go from there, so my first instinct was bye, thanks, and turned around to catch a taxi. Oh, he also gave me something really cool, which he brougt to the date.

So, all of my friends say I should email to thank him, clearing up confusion of my interest level. Now, BEFORE any guys jump down my throat with the...if he's interested he'll call (which I do believe) he even mentioned I seemed a bit "aloof" when we first met (this would not be the first guy to say this to me) so my friends have seen this before and think it coudln't hurt to send a thank you email for the gift,dinner, drinks and nice conversation and leave it at that (no invite, or attempt to make future plans).

thoughts??????

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 4:32pm
Well, unless you forgot your manners and didn't say "thank you" on the date, a "thank you" email is unnecessary.

However, if you did already say thank you but think that you may have given him the wrong impression about your interest level, then sending him a "I'm really interested" email diguised as a "thank you" email is fine ;-).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 5:06pm
halliej25...

Pianoguy prefers to receive a "snail mail friendship card" as opposed to the email.

WHY?

Because it's totally unexpected...and it's a nice way to 'reference' the girl who made his Saturday night...EXCELLENT!

So pick out a nice (not mushy) friendship card...include a short note indicating how much fun the date was...and mail it to your b/f. My best guess is...you'll receive a phone call for date #2 within 48 hours!

Pianoguy

Avatar for halliej25
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2003
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 9:11pm
Isn't that a bit much, looking up his address (he didn't give it to me and I've never been to his place) and then sending him a card? It is a nice gesture but could totally freak him out don't you think?

I thought email was innocent enough that yes, it would show I don't want him to drop off the face of the earth never to be heard from again, but also does not put any pressure on him to do anything but read it, he can respond however he feels and of course I'll get the hint if he never replies OR if he replies but does not ask me out again.

It took my last boyfriend (of 2 years) one week to ask me out after we first went out w/a group of friends, then another whole week after that date to ask me out again...and he is somewhat similar to this new guy. So, I guess I was basing it on that and a few other guys I have dated in the past few years that were thrilled when I made my interest level known at the beginning (without going overboard or ever asking them out).

Again, I don't have too much to lose..I am confident, love my life and my friends and family and always have plans so at the worst I guess I miss out on a cool guy cause he doesn't want more from me, think I can take it. Still not sure about the handwritten card, but an interesting touch.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 9:52pm
I think it's ok to send a brief email thanking him for a fun time, making it subtly clear that you enjoyed his company, but leaving it up to him to ask you out again.

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