Should I forget him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Should I forget him?
6
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 5:23pm
Hello:

I'm so confused.

I met this guy online on Jan. 1. Since then we have regularly e-mailed each other back and forth - wonderful, rich conversations. We have a lot in common. We make each other laugh. We commiserate about work, family, political views, sports, everything.

He's suggested several times that he will call me and/or that we should meet in person, but for one reason or another he's never called me, never actually made a date to go out.

We're both busy people. He's out of town a lot.

But isn't two months long enough.

I know, through our e-mail conversations, that he's been burned before and is very cautious because of that.

But geez.

How should I handle this? I don't want to seem desperate or upset because I know that turns guys off.

Should I call him? Or should I take his lack of calling as a signal that he really isn't interested despite the tone of the e-mails.

kcnj

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 5:35pm

It sounds like he is unavailable for a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 5:40pm
Some people email back & forth for years, literally, and nothing ever come of it.

You don't know him, you have never even met him. I feel you should quit corresponding with him, just gradually taper off the emails.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 5:48pm
He probably has something he doesn't want you to know about him. It could be that he's involved with someone else, or it could be something about his appearance or his voice. Chances are the chemistry will not be the same in person after so much time only emailing. The only way to know is to meet and he's not interested in doing that. So keep emailing and know that is all it will ever be, or move on and concentrate on something/someone else.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 6:10pm

Wait a minute here...... he can email but he can't call? interesting..... Right now he is holding the cards... he makes the mention of calling and meeting and you sit there waiting and keep emailing as though it isn't bothering you. But, the fact is, it is bothering you. The problem is that you are telling us instead of him...


The next email exchange just tell him that you need more than a suggestion of a call or meeting and ask him what is stopping him! You need to get this out in the open and resolve it or it will surely die on the vine. Ask him what his intentions are... does he just want to be an eternal email pal or does he want more?


You may have to get a bit bold with your life here but that's the only way it is going to change... take control of it and tell him that you are not content this way and you need more. Tell him what you have told us and ask him point blank "when?" the next time he suggests a call or meeting. Tell him that you need to plan for it and that you are not going to sit at home and wait... Then, go out, have a good time, meet people and if or when he calls you can plan accordingly.


tg

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 6:21pm
I think that he wants to take it slowly. If he is out of town a lot, he isn't going to have much time for you if he does want to take you out.

I would wait and see his intentions. Maybe he only wants a friend to correspond with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 7:12pm
I wouldn't email someone more than a few times without talking on the phone and meeting ASAP - if a man wants to email back and forth for a longer period of time I assume he only wants an email penpal and I have no interest in that.