Should I get back with the ex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Should I get back with the ex?
1
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 11:35pm
Hello:

My ex and I dated for 8 months, and he unexpectedly broke up with me. I didn't see it coming, he wasn't treating me any different then normal. His reasoning was that he wanted to take things slower etc. He was confused about himself and job etc. He wanted to stay friends but I was so hurt I told him I couldn't be his friend for awhile. I also told him not to call or contact me etc. He didn't for awhile, but then started calling me occasionally. He continued to call even though I didn't call him back.

It's been about 7 months since we broke up and we are starting to talk again. We recently had a talk about about us and how we felt about things. He said that he missed me and that he made a big mistake by breaking up. In the talk we discussed why he broke it off and what his issues are. In talking about the relationship we both agreed that we enjoy speding time together and that we had a great relationship. Also agreed we are both afraid of getting hurt if we were to get back together. He said we should put what had happend in the past, take things slow by being friends first then work up to the relationship that we once had. I'm really confused on this whole situation....I don't know what to make of it. Or how I can avoid getting hurt in the taking things slow deal. Is this a risk worth taking, is he serious about being with me? Any outsider insight is much appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2004
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 12:30am
Now this is just my opinion, but I really don't think you should get back together with him. From experience, unless there has been a significant change in your ex, the relationship is just going to end up the same. What happens the next time he gets scared and wants to slow things down? Do you really want to go through that hurt all over again? He's telling you that you should forget what happened in the past, but it'd be pretty hard for me to forget someone just all of a sudden breaking up with me. I think before you get into a relationship with him again, you've got to make sure that you really trust him not to hurt you again.