Should I go on a second date?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Should I go on a second date?
7
Sat, 04-15-2006 - 1:16pm
I had a first date with a guy, and I'm trying to figure out if I would go on a second date if he asked. He was pretty nice, the conversation went well, and he is attractive. However, I didn't really feel a romantic spark with him. We talked about where we like to travel, what we do for a living, what our hobbies are, where we grew up; I guess just general get-to-know-you stuff. Is it too early to know whether we'd be compatible dating? I have no idea if he even wants a second date because he didn't say he would call me. He said something about me learning to barbecue (he loves doing that), and when I said I didn't like seafood he said "Good, more for me." So it seems like he is thinking about future dates. I just don't know if I'm romantically interested in him, so if he asks me on another date, should I give him one more chance or just say I'm not interested anymore? Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Sat, 04-15-2006 - 1:22pm

<< I just don't know if I'm romantically interested in him, so if he asks me on another date, should I give him one more chance or just say I'm not interested anymore? >>

If he does ask you out again, what do you have to lose by going? Nada. So, why not go and it will either validate your current feelings (that you don't have a romantic interest in him ... in which case, you'll know that you don't want to pursue a third date) or you might find that there is something there ... but, if you don't go, you'll never know, right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2005
Sat, 04-15-2006 - 1:40pm

I would give him another chance. Usually, first dates are a bit awkward in my opinion.
We are a bit more conscious, a lil stressed. And it's not necessary that a spark be there right from the very first meeting.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-15-2006 - 1:41pm

So long as you had a good time with him and you were at least *somewhat* attracted to him, I'd go out with him again if he asks.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Sat, 04-15-2006 - 3:13pm
Ok, thanks for the advice everyone. The reason I am worrying so much is because dating is stressful for me! I was so nervous that I couldn't get to sleep the night before, and it took me hours to get ready before the date (and he didn't even comment on how I looked) and I was worried for the whole day about what to say, how to act, etc. I'm very shy, so this is extra hard for me to try and get to know someone new, so I was trying to avoid going through this again if there's no chance at a relationship with him. If he calls me, I guess I'll go out with him again and try to be a bit more relaxed about the whole thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Sat, 04-15-2006 - 7:12pm

<< I'm very shy, so this is extra hard for me to try and get to know someone new, so I was trying to avoid going through this again if there's no chance at a relationship with him.>>

That's understandable, given the shyness factor. But, how about this for a perspective change: if he does ask you out again, just think of it as any other friend you'd be going out with. Do you get nervous and stay up all night thinking about it when you're going out with some friends? Probably not. Nor do you take hours to get ready when you go out with a friend, right?

So, don't get as worked up (nervous) or try so hard to make an impression. Just be YOU! Be the you that you would be with any other friend. Instead of TRYING to get to know him ... or trying to avoid anything ... don't TRY ... just BE. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 12:21pm
If he asks you out, give it another shot.
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 12:32pm
Look at a date with him as practice, then. An exercise in getting over your shyness. The more you date, the more comfortable you become and more confident you'll be. There is no reason not to give it another shot. He sounds like he's easy to be with. And don't sweat it when it comes to his "not noticing" how you looked. A lot of guys are very awkward when it comes to compliments. You don't know him well yet, but my guess is it's too early for him to be taking you for granted, so he probably overlooked the gesture of telling you how nice you looked.

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