should i just move on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
should i just move on?
3
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 12:22pm
ok so here's the problem i have been talking to this guy for about a month and a half now and he asked me out 3 weeks ago stupid me said yes we then proceeded to move our relationship to the next level we became intimate which on my part was a big mistake the next week after that we seen each other once. Before that we hung out every night so anyways he calls every couple days so i told him i just wanted to be friends cuz he changed and we seen each other more when we we're friends.He was ok with that but now we don't hang out at all and he has'nt called in 3 days should i just move on or try to pursue something with him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 5:46pm

Hi sunsetbeauty,

I think you should move on and forget about attempting to pursue him. If he wanted to spend more time with you, he would be calling you to make plans. You hung out with him alot before you became intimate and now that you have he's around a lot less. He got what he wanted so now his persistency is no longer needed; maybe that was his goal and now it is accomplished. You told him you wanted to go back to being friends because you hung out more then (good for you for not settling) and he agreed. If he wanted to get more serious with you he would have told you he would try to make more time for you and would. You may want to reconsider even the friendship for now because it's hard to go back to being just friends after being intimate. It is possible, but not right away, I know this because I had trouble with it and finally had to end the friendship altogether because I know that if he, as my friend, told me he was seeing someone else, I would be crushed and many will tell you that it is a sign that you are not ready for the friendship... which I agree. Consider it his loss and write him off. Good luck in whatever you decide to do. Lucy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 9:18pm
Thanx lucy for your imput it helped out a lot i just needed some imput from an outside source. He actually called after i wrote that message i told him maybe we should'nt talk anymore and maybe posssibly in the future we could be friends but right now it's just to hard for me and he was upset but agreed because he wants me to be happy. so just wanted to say thanx a bunch
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 9:40pm

Hi,

I'm glad I could help but listen.... he may not leave you alone right away so be aware. Mine told me he would leave me alone but he didn't until after I told him that if he cared 1/4 ounce for me he would stop because I felt he was being selfish not to consider how it made me feel everytime he called. He used to call with the most ridiculous excuses. He finally admitted that he thought I would change my mind and during one of those calls tell him I wanted to see him afterall; didn't happen of course. Anyhow, just don't be surprised if he still tries to keep the communication lines open. Best to you. Lucy