Should I leave him??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Should I leave him??
2
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 9:38pm
I have been dating Shaun for almost three years. He is 24 and I 22. The problem is he seems to have turned into this party guy. He goes out with his friends three nights a week and spends absoultley no time with me on the weekend. I want to break up with him, but everytime I am held back by this nagging voice in me that says that he will come out of this and it's just a phase, but I am really going crazy. He sees me once a week lately and seems to ignore my obvious pain. He knows I have no friends and spend all my time alone and doesn't care. I've always been okay with him hanging out with his friends, but he seems like he isn't happy unless he's with them which is 24/7. I am afraid to let him go because I'm afraid it will take me forever to find someone else because I don't get out much. What's worse is that he has 2 daughters that he has custody of and is always leaving them with his mom. I miss them like crazy as well. I feel like I am not even a part of his life. We are suppose to be gettting our own place, but he seems to be putting it off. Horrible situation would like any advice I could get. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 1:53pm
Your life seems to "revolve around Shaun" and that not healthy. You should get a life of your own as well. Couples don't hang 24/7 otherwise it'll turn into suffocation. The fact that he's a party boy now means that he's looking around and keeping you "there" if he is planless. If he's not giving you wnat you need then leave. Staying will only prolongue your misery and unhapiness. He'll be OK.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 8:09pm
Hello haleyjean,

I can totally understand where you are coming from. It must be especially hard since you don't go out much and your bf is your world. My advice to you is first to try to get a life of your own. I am sure you must have family and some friends. Maybe you haven't talked to them in a while or not that often but rekindling those relationships will help you find a support system to rely on and thus it will be easier to see clearly. As for him partying and hanging out with his friends 24/7, that is not a good sign. You should not tolerate it! But before making any decision, and so that you have a clear conscience, talk to him. If he ignores your wishes and does not seem to care about what you have to say, i think the answer is pretty clear. Good luck!

d_willis