Should I leave him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Should I leave him?
6
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 2:17pm
I have dated a man for 6 months...I just feel unsecured with him because he never calls me unless text messages. I am so tired of this relationship and think something is not right with him. I just tried to give myself more chances if thing can change???? but...I don't know if I can tell him about this? about text messages why not calling?

Also, yesterday we went out and he asked me to oral sex him,...I did not want to do it because I do not understand him and I still feel unsecured with him....I just told him that I was afraid...and I never did it before. Honestly, I never have had sex with any men, even oral sex. So I really was afraid to do that. But I do love him...and still do not want to do it. He said to me that "You don't want to"....I don't know if I hurt his feeling???????

Like I said, I feel unsecured with this man and why he just text messages? so how come I trust him and want more intimacy in this relationship though I miss him and love him. WHAT SHOULD I DO? SHOULD I CONTINUE THIS RELATIONSHIP? WHAT SHOULD I TALK TO HIM? I want to tell him my feeling that I really love him but I still does not trust him and obviously he did not commit to me. He only see me every other week...not every weekend. Even he does not call me but only text message.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 3:56pm
rabitjoin...

Do you LIKE being used as a sex tool....even though you don't seem to be very comfortable with the idea?

Being in love with somebody is great UNLESS that person puts his (or her) pleasure ahead of your personal feelings. And it's pretty clear (to Pianoguy anyway) that oral sex is more important for him than YOU!

Maybe this man has a mindset that you should be "giving him pleasure" after 6 months of being together? But unless YOU are comfortable sharing intimacy on an equal basis...which means he should be "pleasuring you the way you want him to"----DON'T ACT AGAINST YOUR OWN FEELINGS!

The disappointment will be devastating!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 4:50pm
pianoguy

So, what I should do? I am not comfortable to do oral sex for him but I still want him to be patient and understand that I need more time. How about txt message? why he never calls me? only text messages? does it give enough trust to me for a man like that? Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 12:50pm
rabitjoin...

It's clear that YOU are a Text Message and not a g/f. How do you know he's not playing this game with another woman or two?

Are you that 'hung-up' on this man that HIS PLEASURE means more than something that makes YOU uncomfortable? Most men can usually sense when a woman doesn't want to 'go all the way' or perform an act that makes her insecure.

Obviously...Mr. "I Want Oral Sex From You RIGHT NOW" enjoys putting his needs ahead of yours. Can't you find a man who will love and respect you more than this jerk?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 6:15pm
Pianoguy

What should I do next time when he texts me? should I ignore and not reply him until he tries to get in touch with me....and tell him what I think and feel about his way...or text him back that I don't want to text him anymore because I don't know why he does not want to talk with me. Should I tell him that I feel very bad every time I recieve message like a need (you said and I agree) or an on-line dating or .....worse...I really feel bad and I really want to forget him....

After a few months, now I can recognize that he is not a good man. I used to think he was good.....but thing never changes.......what I should do next time he texts? THANKS!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 8:46pm
I am curious as to how old everyone is in this scenario. YOU say....you are not comfortable with him.....he only text messages you (for 6 MONTHS???!!!) and that he is pushing you for a BJ----honey,,,DUMP HIS SORRY TEXT MESSAGING BUTT. L>>O>>S>>E>>R is what he is. Leave your phone off except when you need to use it....don't reply to his text...whatever...just lose this
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 9:02am
rabitjoin...

Let the man "text you to his heart's content"----AND IGNORE 'EM ALL!

Don't waste any more of your good time with a bad man...okay?

Pianoguy