Should I meet him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2012
Should I meet him?
Sat, 10-27-2012 - 2:32pm
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I used to study in the same class for 2 years with this guy when I was very young. Then we lose contact because he changed school. Now  I’m in  my  late 20’s, independent woman and doing very well…. but after 18 years this guy appeared.. somehow he got reconnected with a few of his friends from his childhood.  I was very happy because he was a friend from my childhood and glad that he still remembered me and had the effort to search and reconnect with us . Now after more than a year  and half we still keep in touch through online and occasional calls. Even though at the beginning I did not know much  about him but we just seem to enjoy chatting with each other.  For us the 18 years did not disappear..we talked like we knew each other and we’re close. Then he started talking about his past love life, dreams and hopes.. and I know that a guy will not do this unless they feel comfortable with the girl. 

This sounds weird but he just seems to know me and we even talked about our families. I tried not to get close because I know that he regards me only has a friend but has days pass I seem to fall for him more.  But recently he just coupled up with a girl… I should be happy for him but deep down I felt very disappointed.  I try to forget my feeling towards him but it’s very hard for me. 

Though we have chatted with each other  but we did not meet each other personally because of work and commitment.  Now  he wanted to meet me but I don’t know whether I should meet him or not.  I know he has a girlfriend and she is the one for him.  I know that I should be matured enough to think and not mix friendship with my feelings but somehow I just feel that he is the one for me. I just feel so pathetic right now because of this.  How can I fall for a guy that I have not meet personally ? I even used to think why not me and why her… because we were so compatible in all aspects. .. why did he shared with me his problems, his dreams, his happiness  with me… ? I have never felt ‘he is the one’ with other guys that I have know before.  I just feel so stupid right now because I felt that ‘he is the one’ .   I know that I’m being ridiculous here but I just cant seem to forget him. Should I just meet him and ingnore the fact that I have feeling towards him? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 10-27-2012 - 4:10pm

Did he say why he wanted to meet up w/ you even though he has a GF now?  Was it just to catch up as old friends?  I don't know whether you should meet w/ him or not, but here are some things to consider.  First of all, he's still kind of a fantasy guy--if you met with him, he would be real guy.  You might have lunch with him, for example and then this idea you have of him as "Mr. Right" could be gone because the reality might not be as great as the fantasy--even though it would be sad, in one way it could be good also because you might be building him up too much in your mind.  Or he could see you and realize that he likes you more as well because he hasn't met you in person in a long time so he doesn't really know you either.  You never know how it might go, but if you do decide to meet, don't get your hopes up too much.  Maybe it would be better to get together in a group of old friends.