Should I or Shouldn't I?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Should I or Shouldn't I?
2
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 8:45am
I've been really confused lately and need all the help I can get. I have a guy friend that at one time tried to make it more than a friendship and I said that we were to good of friends and I didn't wanna ruin that,so he respected that. But now I look at him a totally different way, I think I'm in love with him. We flirt all the time and I think he still likes me but now he has a girlfriend. I have led him to believe were just friends so I wonder is he flirting with me as a friend or more? Do I tell him how I really feel? I know now that this is the guy I wanna spend the rest of my life with.But is it to late? Please help me decide what I should I do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 1:05pm
You have to tell him how you feel! If you think you want to spend the rest of your life with him, then you can't just give that up. Relationships that start out as friendships first are the ones that work out the most. If he hasn't been dating this other woman for very long, then she'll get over it. Maybe try to just hint to him at first. Maybe after he's done something really nice for you, say something like, "I don't know what I'd ever do without you." and then go on seriously into a moment, and talk to him about the future and what he thinks is in it for the two of you. I don't know. It's more complicated with a girlfriend involved. Maybe as a friend, ask him how he feels about his girlfriend. If he complains about something about her, then there's a chance. If he can't stop saying wonderful things about her, then it is complicated. I hope this helps you a little.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 7:45pm
wow, that's a hard one.i would tell you that it's a good idea to tell him how you feel, but he has a gf. first i think you should find out how serious the two of them are. his feelings are probably still there for you. if you guys were really close in the past, i doubt that he couldn't have feelings for you. i had a similar problem with my current boyfriend. he had a gf when i liked him and i always knew there was feelings there even if he didn't say it, but unlike you may want, i waited until he broke up with his gf, and even then i couldn't tell him how i felt, but when i finally did a year later, it was like he was waiting for me to say something. u never know, he may have just moved on b/c u turned him down. u should really talk to him and see what's going on with his relationship first before u try anything, but if it's not serious, i would tell him. good luck!