Should I sleep with him part 2

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2006
Should I sleep with him part 2
2
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 11:08pm
Well first I want to thank everyone for all of the advice.. It has been a truly stressful time for me with all of this stuff. I am still confused as what to do, and will probably just go with the flow and see where it ends up. I would like to say that this guys newest thing is " dont do it to make me happy" ---- " do it because you want to"-- lol he sounds and seems just as confused as me. I also may have figured out why-- his last gf cheated on him. I am not making excuses-- done that too often, just stating the facts. My whole issue is I dont really trust people, but the fact that I am okay to be around him and feel comfortable really says something to me. I am more comfortable with him then with people i have know for years. I like him and think we would be good together ( which consequently he once said as well) but I dont want to do something for the wrong reasons


Edited 6/20/2006 11:15 pm ET by pinkpixie18
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 11:36pm

::" dont do it to make me happy" ---- " do it because you want to"::

Seriously? To me, that sounds manipulative...."I'm such a good, patient guy. I'm not going to pressure you." What it doesn't say is what he said to you initially...that he wants to have sex before he decides if he wants the relationship. To my mind, that's just an excuse to get sex and make up some lame excuse to walk away.

Suggestion? Say, "You're right. I really need to do it when I'm ready and I'm questioning myself too much now, which tells me I'm NOT ready. I'd like to keep dating and see where we're at in 6 months time."

How he responds to that will tell you how genuine he really is. He should want to get to know your PERSONALITY to determine if he wants a relationship, not how good you are in bed.

Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 3:37pm

Listen, if you have a good relationship, with good communication, and lots of trust, then sex HAS to be good. It's not like certain people just can't DO certain things or attain certain skills. If he's kind, patient, and can communicate to you what he likes and you are comfortable telling him what YOU like, then sex is mind-blowing. Period.

All this "I need to have sex before deciding on a relationship" is a bunch of hooey.