Should I stay or should I walk away
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Should I stay or should I walk away
| Sat, 07-17-2004 - 6:57am |
I have been friend with this guy for a while. I really like him, and I can feel that he has feeling for me too. However, he's always told me that he wanted to be single and not want to settle down. Just recently things got more intimate, but I am confused. While he's being nice to me, he's also going out with other woman. He actually wrote in his blog how he watched a movie with this other girl. I didn't want to appear eager so I didn't press him for detail. But I suspect there could be more because I notice his behaviour change. I am frustrated with the number of women around him, i don't like to compete with other women. I am sick of being one of these woman, but our r'ship is only starting to get more intimate. I am scared to confront him because I think either way I would be walking away. I am really depressed and I donno what to do? Should I stay, compete with other woman and hope for the better? Or should I walk away?

i used to be head over hills over someone very similar to the guy you are dating now. ever since i know him, he treats me this weird way - extremely nice and caring but always emphasizing his independance. oh well, i forgot about him and started dating someone else. wasn't easy to move one but now, when i have no expectation from him and no feelings except for friendship, i feel SO much better. and, lol, he is far more attentive to me.
it's just that type of men i guess. used to female attention and once they have it, they look for more, elsewhere. one girl is not enough
what makes you think that he has feelings for you? just because he is nice from time to time? because of the way he looks at you? or says something? from what you wrote i seriously doubt he has any serious feelings for you, hon.
forget him. i'm not saying throw him out of your life, but accept that he is not the right guy for you and you deserve someone so much better. accept and live your life to the most without him. world is full of great guys - just open your eyes!
Otherwise, he's been a great friend. He has given a lot of useful career advice etc. I dont want to lose him as a friend. Should I confront him about how I feel about this relationship or just quietly walk away and keep the friendship? It's a real struggle.
do what your heart feels is best for you - whether it's talking it thru with him or quietly leaving. it all depends on the relationship you have. i guess i'm just reluctant to advice definitely to talk it through coz you are not in strong committed relationship you want to end, where naturally he would need that conversation. chances are, he might not be keen to talk things through coz there's no problem for him.
maybe something to consider is distancing yourself from him and watching his reaction. if he doesn't respond in a way loving/caring guy would (and that means expressing true concerns and not seeing other girls), i'd just leave it without bothering to discuss
when you are completely over him, you can go back to friendship and who knows - one day say with a smile "at some point i thought it could work out between us. but it didn't"