Should I stop dating him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Should I stop dating him?
4
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 12:43pm

I am dating a man that is currently separated from his wife. She moved out. They were together since the 1970's and have a total of 8 children. 2 are still minors.

He's 52 yrs old and I'm 37. I really like him and he seems like a really nice guy. His wife is unemployed and he makes around $35k a yr. The cost of living in our city is high, so he does not have money to take me out or anything.

I pay for all of our dates, including hotel rooms for us to have sex. I've even loaned him money a few times, but he never paid me back. Recently, I put my foot down and refused to give him more money.

I have mixed feelings about my relationship with him. My gut says run, but then sometimes I think that would be a mistake and I would lose someone wonderful.

We have great sexual relationship. But, sometimes I feel like booty call. I like a guy constantly complimenting my body and explaining to me how he wants to touch it, but sometimes its like I'm flattered but can we talk about something else besides "f"ing. He's asked me to be patient with his current situation, things will change and we will have a future together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 1:28pm
Listen to your gut. It sounds like booty call to me. This guy brings NOTHING to the table. Not even the money to pay for the hotel room. He may or may not go through with the divorce because divorces cost money. You are definately getting the short end of the stick and he's getting free sex and free nights out on the town.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 10:27pm

It sounds like this man is medicating himself sexually with you as he goes through the process of ending his marriage.

Look up the term "baggage" in the dictionary and you'll probably find his picture there... Eight children!

He's almost twice your age... he borrows money from you... he can't afford proper dates... and your "dates" consist of sex and you paying for hotel rooms.

Hon, if you're satisfied with just having great sex and you're willing to continue paying for it, that's fine. But don't hang on to this troubled man if you want a complete relationship. It doesn't sound like he's interested in that, and since he's not divorced yet, he isn't even able to provide it. Move on. You won't be giving up much. When you look back on this experience you'll wonder how you tolerated it this long.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 7:21pm

It sounds like he is using you for sex and money.

If sex is important to you more than a well-rounded relationship, then stay with him. If you are interested in having a whole relationship and a give and take love affair, leave. Honey he has 8 kids and an ex that doesn't have a job. If you want to sacrifice the rest of your life, stay.

There is more to life than having good sex.

He apparently doesn't have any pride when he uses you to get sex and money. He's a sponger and he knows when he has it good. I'd call him a jigolo.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 8:51pm

How is he wonderful except in bed?


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