Should I stop mailing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Should I stop mailing?
9
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 8:57pm
Hi,

I recently met this guy on the internet and we only communicate with eachother by e-mail. (Lond distance relationship). I really like him and I don't want to lose him. I am 28, he is 34. His last e-mail, which was very polite, was purely a reply to the questions that I asked to him in my last e-amil. He didn't ask me any questions in return. It was kind of Close communication! Plus, he usually ends his e-mails by "Hope to hear from you soon" this time it was " Have a Great week and thank you for your e-mail" I am a paranoid person and also very pride. Do you think this is a message to stop mailing? Should I reply to him yes or no? I don't want to appear like pushy and desperate! Please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 5:06am
he is married or attached in some way? are you positive? That would be my guess. he definetly seems like a nice person that may be friendly on the internet but has "home" obligations. There really was not enough info in your post to say--but I would guess he has someone in his life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 8:20am
Dear Surgtech, thank you for your advice. However, I am 90% sure that he is single, based on several factors. In his previous e-mail he suggested that he would love to come and visit me even sooner that I imagine and my reply was " That would be brilliant we can get to know each other better". Do you think he was fricked out that i am too serious? I am sooo insecure about relationships anymore. I haven't been dating for 4 years because I am too picky and I don't want to loose this one. I feel very dumb when it comes to relationships!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 11:35am
How long have the two of you been corresponding? I corresponded with a guy for a year through the internet. There were times that we talked either online or on the phone several times a week. Then there were times that I would go over a week without hearing from him. One thing to keep in mind. The two of you are NOT in a relationship yet! It's quite possible that he is also talking with other people too. In fact, I'm sure he is, and you should be too. There are no committments to each other. You haven't even met yet. Just relax. If you don't want to email him for a while, don't. Wait to see if you hear from him first. I didn't email the guy I was corresponding with for over a month, that's because I met a guy that lived closer to me and we started dating. In fact, he was also waiting for a woman to fly up and finally meet him. But, after a while, he emailed me and said "where you been". Long story short, After corresponding for a year with this guy, we met face-to-face 15 months ago, and I moved in with him 4 months later. July 10th will be 1 yr. So, I guess I'm just trying to say relax, don't read anything into it. I'm sure you'll hear from him again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 5:11pm
I agree with you! I have to relax and wait. If he writes to me then good for me, if not then it is not meant for us to be together. Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 5:44pm
Hello elyza!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 7:35pm
I would agree to a point with the message prior to this. I'm only speaking from my own experience. Now, remember, I think I told you that I corresponded with my boyfriend for 1 yr. before we met. I never expected anything, but hoped that I would one day meet him. Even when I was flying up to meet him, I knew it was either going to make or break the relationship. Even though it's only communicating through email, it's only natural that you would begin to have some feelings for him. But, it IS only through email right now. You do not know him in depth. Once I began corresponding with my (now) boyfriend it was a few months of email. I had a tragedy in my life and when I told him, he asked if he could call me. That began the phone part of the friendship. Then, after a few months, he talked me into getting a web cam. That was about 5 months into it. And 7 months later after many phone calls, emails, and chats with the web cam, I finally saw him face to face. I knew at the airport that this was IT, the ONE. Before that, we NEVER spoke of it being a "relationship" of any kind aside from a strong friendship. You can't have a relationship, at least not one with any substance, without seeing one another. I would highly recomment getting a web cam. My boyfriend and I used to wake up on the weekends, get online, and have coffee together. We even had a "family" evening through the web cam once. He's got 2 kids, I have 1. It can be a lot of fun. Using the internet to find romance isn't the "normal" way to find true love, but it can work, if it's meant to be. Just don't get hung up on 1 guy that you've met this way. Continue chatting and emaiing, even if you don't find true love, you can definitely find good friendships. Let me know how things go. Hope I helped, at least a little but. p.s. My boyfriend and I have now been living together for 1 year (July 10). We've had our ups and downs, but he is definitely the person I want to share all of my experiences with.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 8:30pm
Maybe he's just a little busy. You know how it gets some times. You get so busy you check your e-mail and don't have much time to write so you make it short, sweet, and to the point. I say write him again and ask whats up.

xxxDragonsbabybluexxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 10:46am
Im interested in knowing what happened.
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 11:16am
Hi! I am going through the very same thing. I am 31 he is 34. He lives quite a long distance away. What I have done (since we have been emailing now for a year) is write him an email telling him how I feel. It was a very up front email asking where he thinks our relationship is going, but it was done with tact. If you have someone you trust, let them read the email and get their opinions. Then you know what you are sending isn't something that will offend, but something he will absolutely know where you are at in this relationship. I know what you are feeling. It is hard. On one hand, you don't want to loose the good friend that you have made, but on the other you want to know what is actually going on. It has been a wonderful year for me, and I still look forward to his mail. It is a scary thing, but at one point you will have to ask him what his true intentions are....a realtionship, frienship, or pen pal. Good luck! I hope things work out for you.