Should I tell him how I feel?
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 03-07-2007 - 12:05pm |
I have a friend who I care for romantically and I don't know how to handle this delicate situation. I met him 2 years ago at work, and he's been in Europe for a year and a half. There seems to be attraction between us and we keep in touch as much as possible through phone calls, chatting, and see each other when he's home. He always lets me know that he misses me, he's told me that he wished he had more time for me, that I'm unforgettable, he wants to spend lots of time with me in the summer and last time he left to go back to Europe for another year he almost didnt let go of me and looked really upset to go. We are at times flirtatious with each other and every phone conversation we have we end up discussing what a good relationship involves, marriage, divorce and kids (although not with each other).
We've never crossed the line of friendship ( frankly, there hasn't been the chance for it to develop) so I know that there is no risk of being taken advantage of physically. He is not they type to take relationships lightly and said before leaving as we were getting to know each other that he was not looking for a relationship with anyone while he was there. He maintains his plate is too full still when i asked him about a rumour that he was seeing someone. It turned out to be another girls wishful thinking. I feel her pain. Frankly, he is just too busy often working 18-20hrs a day. Right now I dont ask him with that exception if he's seeing anyone and he doesnt ask me. He won't be coming back home for more than a few weeks a year.
My career can also bring me overseas but I have 2 yrs of university to finish before I could actually be closer to him. I have followed the advice of friends and continued to go out on dates with other guys as not to "miss out" as they say, but this attraction still lingers. He is always on my mind, and I do think that does feel some tenderness toward me, but I am afraid to call him on it. Before he returned to Europe for another year he mentioned that he was going to cut out some friends because he will be working abroad for many years to come and needs to adjust to that new life. I was not happy to hear this, but he let me know that I was not one that would be forgotten and I haven't been.
I have been advised by a friend to wait until I see him again and see if there are any "moments" between us and if so to take that oppourtunity to talk to him and to see if he is attracted to me and if so if we should plan to do anything about it. Do you think that I should I point out the attraction that seems obvious even though he's said his plate is too full for a relationship or am I asking for trouble? I feel that if I don't say something when he returns then maybe any chance in the future might slip away or maybe he just needs to know that I care about him that way.
What do you think? I'm really confused about this because it feels like a big risk.
Thanks for reading!

olivia_888...
Pianoguy (who is currently interested in a lady who lives in Europe) thinks that LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS ARE BRUTAL! Simply because they can't be sustained.
So unless you make the decision to move closer to where your boyfriend resides...expect nothing more than FRIENDSHIP. This way...you won't feel the frustration of "being alone on a Saturday night!"
Pianoguy
Actually, I will be overseas in a couple of years. I dont want to have a long distance relationship. I just want him to know that I have feelings for him and see how he feels about me. I dont even want to try the long distance thing. Maybe that's silly....but I just want confirmation that all our I miss you's back and forth actually mean something. That when he says he wants to spend lots of time with me when he's home that there's something to it. There have been many more cues that would make me think he has feeings for me. Then, when the time is right for us both and if we're both single and still interested in each other, we can go from there because we'll both be abroad. In the mean time I guess we'd just keep in touch and live our lives.
Is that crazy?
I hope that everything goes well with your girl :-) A web cam is great tool and better if you have a mic so you can see and hear each other.