Should I tell him I love him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2004
Should I tell him I love him?
1
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 8:39pm
I am a thirty-something woman with a what I would consider a good career in advertising and have a very active life outside of work, thus I am quite busy. I participate in local performing arts and manage to stay involved in charitable work at the same time. I've also spent most of my adult years in serious, long-term relationships. Awhile ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of many years after I started falling for another man, "Michael." My relationship with my former boyfriend had been stagnant for a very long time, and we'd de-volved into friends. The the parting was amicable, and I was able to move on with some ease. Michael had also split with a former girlfriend for similar reasons.

I began seeing Michael from time-to-time, and we've become very close friend-wise and romantically. In fact in the past several months, I have fallen head-over-heals in love with him. We're both very active in the community and in our hobbies, so our time together is very limited. We both admit to each other that we are crazy about each other and when we spend time together the chemistry between us is amazing; however, we (he more than I) are not ready to plunge head-first into a new relationship just yet. At the same time, I am so afraid to let this one get away. I've waited many years for someone like this to come along, and I would hate to let him slip through my fingers by keeping silent about my true feelings. Should I tell him I have fallen in love with him? I'm afraid that if I don't let him know I am in love with him, then I will regret having kept it to myself if we never end up together. I am also worried that telling him how I feel may push him away because he is already skittish enough about getting into a relationship at this point. How patient can I be?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 10:43pm
You've already told him you're crazy about him, so you've hardly "kept silent about your true feelings". I'm not sure what you're hoping to accomplish by telling him you're in love with him. Are you hoping that he'll change his mind about plunging into a r'ship because you are in love with him? That doesn't seem very realistic.

Assuming he is *open* to the possibility of a serious r'ship with you at some point, I would give it time and just let things develop. You can't force the slower party in a r'ship to go faster; the r'ship can only develop at their pace.

Sheri