should I write back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
should I write back?
3
Sat, 08-06-2005 - 10:56am
I've been hanging out with this guy for a litte over a month. We see each other about once a week. It's not exclusive since we both met on a dating website. I am going out on dates (although haven't like anyone as much as him). So the other day he asks me what i'm doing this weekend, he says he is having a bbq at his parents house sat night on long island (we live in the city). He never said I should come. So last night, I texted him bec I was drunk and said "i'm crashing your bbq" and he wrote back this morning. "sure you can crash, sorry i didn't offer earlier, I thought you would feel uncomfortable because i'm going to be cooking". help should I write back? I don't know if he is being sincere but i'm sick of reading into everything all the time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 12:39am

Instead of text messaging him, why not call him and ask? Rather than trying to figure out his intentions, why not ask him directly? Letting him know that you are interesting in upping things a little is a good step, and if he's feeling the same way, then great. If you want to go to the bbq and he has said he'd like you to go, then what is the problem? GO!

Wear something cute and feminine and let us know how it went!

Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 12:56am
He probably just feels uncomfortable about bringing you to his parents house when you just started dating. If it was a friend's BBQ, you most likely would've been invited. The text he wrote, "sure you can crash, sorry i didn't offer earlier, I thought you would feel uncomfortable because i'm going to be cooking", was a lighthearted joke about not inviting you, hoping you'd "get it" without his spelling it out that he doesn't feel ready to bring you to meet his parents (even though it's a party setting). To a guy, having a girl meet his parents is a big deal. I've dated some guys for a year or so, before meeting his parents. A lot of guys don't like to "bring the girl home" until they are ready to marry her.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 4:16pm

have an honest conversation with him and ask him directly what he is comfortable with.
yeah, he probably doesn't want to make u feel left out, at the same time, he might feel uncomfortable introducing u to his parents when u both have just started dating. if u really think that he might feel very uncomfortable and he is just asking u to come to be polite and not to hurt you, then u don't have to go. there will be plenty of other opportunities to meet his folks. not going is not a big deal.