should we still be friends?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
should we still be friends?
2
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 10:44am
i just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years just recently. i moved back with my mom last night. he kept telling me that he loves and that he wants us to start over again, but i told him that there is no fixing this. he already found someone else. over the weekend he spent the night at her house while i was still living with him. thats why i don't want to be with him or be his friend. how can you tell me you love me and then go spend the night with someone else. i honestly do love that ahole, but he doesn't deserve my love. i told him that i never want to see him or talk to him ever. but deep down inside i don't feel that way and he knows this. he even told me that in a month i was gonna come back to him. well, i don't think so this time. i'm sure i'm going to think about getting back with him or one day go and see him, but i have to remember what he did to me and hopefully that will stop me from seeing him. i did want to be friends with him, but he ruined that for us. he was quick to find someone else to replace me and i can never forget that. i honestly love him but i can't stand him at the same time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 5:30pm
I feel exactly like you do. My "bf" and I have been on and off forever and this weekend it got really bad. He had another girl over when was drunk and he called me to be there too. He screamed at me..grabbed me really hard and freaked out over nothing. He told me that he has a lot of agression towards me and he doesn't know why. After he had that other girl I don't know how to fix our friendship let alone the relationship. I know I'll want to get in touch with him or have him call me so I changed my #. Of course I know his # but I can't bring myself to call him right now. I had a long talk w/ his best friend today and even his best friend doesnt respect him. His own mother is scared of him. I guess that says a lot about him. I found out today that his car is in his moms name and she's so convinced that he will kill himself or someone else when hes drunk that she sold her $700,000 house and kept the money in cash so if they get sued after they wont know how much money she has. He's out of control and I don't know how to help him anymore. If u need to talk Im here
~Maura
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 9:59pm
You can't be friends with someone you had a relationship right now. You have to be 100% healed from him and have NO FEELINGS, what so ever. Being friends now, will only prolong the inevitable and prolong your happiness and healing. This guy hurt you, and of you allow him to continue to hurt you, then you only destroy your soul and have a broken heart. Your heart is breaking now, and it doesn't feel good, do it? So think about what you want and if you want to continue with him. It doesn't look good, and I don't want you to go thru what I'm going thru, because it's not fun, and it hurts like hell. Take care of yourself and remember, your all you got, and that's you. You have to take care of yourself 1st, before you can think of anyone else. He doesn't sound like good material, you may need to change your style of dressing!!!