This shouldn't bother me...
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This shouldn't bother me...
| Sat, 12-10-2005 - 7:09pm |
Ok, My boyfriend likes to watch porn... We live together and I feel (when he watches it) That I'm not ... satisfying his needs...
Also.. he looks at girls on the computer this also bothers me... I should be fine with this.. Its a guy thing, I just feel thretend.
Am I overreacting?

I'd bring it up during a time when he is not looking at porn. Tell him that his hobby makes you feel uncomfortable. The results will be as follows:
1) He agrees on refraining from looking at porn and all is well.
2) He tells you that this is more your problem than his. In which case he has no plans to change.
FEelings are feelings. But guys are different than we are as you know and to him it's not about intimacy and love and great sex - it's about satisfying a brief urge, with no meaning.
Can you share more about why you feel threatened? Whenever topics of jealousy and/or insecurities come up, I always suggest looking at it from the perceptive of "is it an actual threat or a perceived threat?"
In this case, well ... in answering the perceived vs. actual threat question ... the answer is easy. These girls aren't within his reach ... they're just some girls on the TV, computer, magazines ... it's just in the medium ... he's not interacting with them, so ... it's more or less a perceived problem/threat than an actual problem/threat, kwim?
Are you over-reacting? No. It's a normal feeling that many women experience when they realize that their guy is being a GUY! LOL
Unless the porn is affecting your sex life (ie, he'd rather watch porn than be with you), then ... I wouldn't sweat it.
You can most certainly let him know that you're uncomfortable with it, and perhaps he can NOT watch it when you're around. Or, you can join in and get more comfortable with it.
Basically, it's all about a little bit of perception change ... guys will be guys ... recognizing that these girls are not an actual threat to your relationship and that it isn't necessarily a reflection on you or not satisfying his needs ... men are visual creatures ... porn isn't a threat in your relationship unless its actually affecting and taking away from your sex life together.
Hope that helps.