shouldn't he want to see me?
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shouldn't he want to see me?
| Mon, 08-07-2006 - 3:50pm |
Okay, I have been exclusive with a guy for three months now. We met online and after talking for a loooong time, he had never asked to meet. So, I finally brought it up and at that point he agreed. We went out for a couple of weeks before he asked me to be exclusive with him to which I readily agreed. And for the most part things are great. We enjoy each other tremendously and always have fun when we are together. The thing is he never takes any initiative in seeing me. He never brings up us seeing each other--I always have to be the one to bring it up. Kind of a "Hey, when are we getting together again?" kind of thing. He doesn't call very often either prefering to communicate if he sees me on Instant Messenger. We tend to see each other once during the week for dinner and usually only once on the weekend. I've asked him about it and he says that he is used to building up to seeing each other more rather than starting out that way. (I'm used to starting out that way.) And when I mention about him never making plans with me, he just kind of listens to what I say, sometimes he will explain it away--with a well I never know ahead of time to be able to. So, what kind of advice can you give me? And shouldn't he want to spend more time with me?

I agree, he sounds lazy, and will probably leave everything up to you if your relationship progresses....
I don't like it....especially since you brought it to his attention and he did nothing to acknowledge your discomfort, just made excuses.....I think I'd move on...
I was thinking the same thing about the guy that I've been exclusively dating for almost 3 months now!
I usually bring up when we'll see each other next, but we usually both concur on what we'll be doing on that day...
Sometimes it bugs me, because in the beginning it was always HIM who would call me to come out to see me, and etc. And although, he still calls me every night, I wish I could see him more often. (Though, we manage to see each other at least once a week).
Perhaps they do this because they don't want to seem to be "crowding" us? Or maybe they're finished with "the game" and now it's our turn to play? Maybe he's just trying to find his comfort zone? Who knows...
But hey, have the satisfaction in knowing that you're still seeing him, and talking to him. I guess (hope) that once they've reached their comfort zones that things will look more on the up and up. Keep that patience going!
There's a simple solution, really, but surprisingly, few women are willing to risk the chances.
Don't call, don't suggest getting together.