shy girl
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shy girl
| Mon, 12-12-2005 - 12:07am |
I am so shy and it bothers me sooo much and I don't know how to overcome it. I am just a quite shy girl ....I mean I don't think I'm fat or ugly or stupid but when it comes to meeting new people or just talking to someone I don't really talk to much I just can't do it. I don't know what to do or say.so when it comes to meeting new guys it is almost impossible because I know that I may come off as being stuck up. any advice?

Being shy can be extremely painful and lonely.
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I also used to suffer from unbearable shyness. It is part of what first brought me into therapy. I don't know if it helped me conquer the shyness, but it did give me a lot of insights into why I was so uncomfortable and self-conscious all the time. I then went into a long, arduous process of raising my self-esteem, demanding better for myself, and I'm doing better. I don't think I'll ever be totally comfortable with approaching men, but I am certainly better able to deal with/accept their attention.
I wouldn't recommend doing this right away, but signing up for a dating site is one way to skip some of the particularly nerve-racking steps in meeting new people--the expectation/desire to date is implicitly established, men will approach you, and you can correspond via email for as long as you feel comfortable.
There are also lots and lots of books on conquering shyness, that give concrete tips on exercises you can do in everyday life. _Painfully Shy_ is one title that comes to mind. They weren't terrifying assignments, but things like, try to make a short conversation with a store clerk, look someone in the eye a few seconds longer than you normally would, pay a stranger a compliment. Baby steps. And eventually these things don't get so difficult, you feel better about yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone, and things really do get easier. The relationships you already have will get better because you are more open and you'll find new people drawn to you!
In any case, deciding that you want to change and address this is a huge step so good for you. Don't be scared and take small steps.