Shy guy?

Avatar for caramello0213
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Shy guy?
13
Sun, 03-21-2004 - 9:55pm
Help! I need some insight! I met a man and we had instant chemistry and talked for about three hours straight - no awkward pauses. He's 38, I'm 30. We talked easily about life and work and similar interests. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. He then walked me home and when we said goodbye it was kind of awkward because it felt like we were on a date and he was dropping me off because we had been talking for so long. We both went in for a hug and I don't know if he was trying to smooch me or what. I gave him a peck on the cheek and he said he'd call me. He hasn't called and I've run into him a few times since then, but we have only exchanged pleasentries - no conversations. He seems kind of shy...Anyway, do you think he is shy or just not interested or what??!! I'm finding the situation perplexing, and it's driving me nuts. It was so obvious we had chemistry. Any thoughts on the situation would be great and/or is there anything I should/shouldn't do.

Thanks in advance!

C Mello

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Avatar for caramello0213
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: caramello0213
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 3:13pm
Well that's just it. He isn't even treating you like a friend. Stick to what is important to you and values you hold for yourself. Never settle for what is okay with his agenda and not yours. He doesn't sound like much of man to me. The polite and respectful thing to do would have been to say, "I'm flattered by your interest, but am not in the position for any kind of new relationship now." But instead, you must take his lack of interest as just that, a lack of interest. Just know that you did nothing wrong, it's just time to move ahead. Do these kind of (non)relationships come into your life often, like a pattern? If so, it may be time to evaluate your own life to see why you attract these types of men. Figure out what you want out of life and go get it sister! I know of a good book to read if you're interested. Let me know if you are and I can give you the title.

Take care,

C Mello.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
In reply to: caramello0213
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 6:59am
Hi, thanks for your response. I guess I was trying to develop a friendship with him but how can you when he's soo vague in his replies. I'm was trying to hard with him to get him to open up a bit; but it was not working out at all. The sad part in all of this is that I know he won't take the initiative to e-mail me. I know that it's not my fault; nor his really. I just took it as far as I could. I don't have any luck with this sort of thing. I seem to pick out the unattainable guys. I have to meet someone more to my liking; but where? It so hard to meet guys these days; especially the older you get. Yes, I would be interested in the title of your book. Please send it to me.

Take care, Mary Ann

Avatar for caramello0213
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: caramello0213
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 8:06pm
Hi MaryAnn,

The name of the book is "In the Meantime - Finding Yourself and the Love You Want" by Iyanla Vanzant. It really is excellent and has helped and guided me through the last 3 years of my life when things have been rough for me. It's not preachy, it just helps you understand yourself better and identifies patterns, etc. I'm not sure if you're a fan of Oprah, but the author used to be a regular guest on her show a few years back. Maybe check it out from your local library first if you're not sure about purchasing it. It really is great!

Take care and fill me in on your progress,

C Mello.

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