Slow in every way...........
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Slow in every way...........
| Fri, 10-07-2005 - 9:41pm |
I have been seeing a man for about 3 months. we get along very well and enjoy each others company. He has come out of an engagement this year and wants to take things slowly. I have no problem taking it easy as i do not want to rush into anything either. however, i am beginning to feel like we are not moving at all. We talk every day on the phone and see each other regularly but the romance is not really there. he doesnt open up about how he feels about me, which makes me feel like i would be pressuring him if i open up. i care very much about him and understand that that he is goign thru a rough time now. i have been there for him as best i can but its hard to help someone who wont ask for help. Our bedroom is alos lacking and i have tried to spice things up by being creative. However, he is having some problems in that area.....I know that stress and emotions can affect sexual performance, but when i try to bring up the subject softly he states that he is satisfied. i know its embarassing to admit such a thing but i need to find out if its me or just a passing phase he is going thru in his emotional life. I dont push the issue but i feel like i have needs too, e.g-intimacy, physical,, etc. I know he has been hurt in the past, but its spilling into our present, and i need help.

I was once wanting to take things really slowly (because of a break-up I was still dealing with emotionally) with a guy i started dating ..and it was only with time, that i learned to open up with him. it took a while. and i couldn't have done it without his patience. i probably deprived him of a lot of love. i used to be very irritable and emotionally distant romantically speaking. but we still had a good time together as friends. we kept away from anything sexual for a good while until i was ready. ofcourse, i always gave him the freedom to go his own way, but he chose to stay with me and take it slowly. so, i would say, if he really does like u very much, and u do too, then just have patience. but it is up to you, whether you want to wait till he becomes his usual self again, or leave the relationship, or give it a short break. if you choose to stay with him, try to keep it more on a friendship level, and don't pressure him too much. be your normal loving self, and he should open up on his own. but if you cannot deal with this, you don't have to.
ofcourse, i regretted looking for a date after my break-up, when the best thing i could have done for myself would have been to take time off to get healthy and whole "on my own" before starting to date. now i know better. it is just not fair to drag my baggage into a new person's life.