SO CONFUSED
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| Tue, 08-03-2004 - 1:29am |
i was wondering if you could help me figure this out. my ex and i have been apart for two months now. it was he who broke up with me, saying that he loves me but not enough to marry me. he said there was no point in still staying together because he didn't want to anymore... and that he also wanted complete detachment from me--and couldn't manage to even be friends.
we lived together for nine months and i was even pregnant. but i lost that baby at 5 weeks sometime in january. i was hoping that we could try again and eventually get married and breaking up definitely wasn't part of the plan.
when we broke up, i moved back in with my parents and went back to school. i'm 24 and realized i had my whole life ahead of me. i didn't want to chase after a 30 year old man who was afraid of marriage. so after a few days of crying and moping, i managed to function normally again. my friends say that i'm handling it well and i agree. i can safely say now that i am ok and well on my way to recovery.
i also am cooperating with his wishes. when he said he wanted complete detachment, i was hurt. but i managed to do this anyway, and fought the temptation to call him and see him. he has not heard from me since our last conversation and i am happy with how i am handling everything.
but about a month ago, he started leaving me irreverent and random messages... everything from "did you hear about...?" to "i just finished this great playstation game...". and recently, he even quoted a U2 song, "where the streets have no name":
"I want to feel sunlight on my face
I see the dust cloud disappear
Without a trace
I want to take shelter from the poison rain"
i have NOT replied at all to any of his messages because i am completely clueless as to what this behavior means... and what his messages mean. he has never spelled out what he wants to happen... never even mentioned seeing me again or anything like that. his messages are cryptic and always general.
please help me figure out what he's trying to tell me. what could he possibly want now? any help at all would be greatly appreciated... i'm at a point where i can't think clearly anymore!
thanks,
bridget

I am sorry to inform you but he is not interested in you, he is just going through a stage where he misses having you around, or to be more blunt, he just misses having someone around.
I am sure you are a wonderful person, and he does not deserve you. I can tell by the words you expressed, that your intentions were real and honest, however its obvious his were not.
He is writing you to see if you are still hanging on, its a sick thing I have heard guys do to build their self-esteem, best thing don't reply and go on with your life.
There are more fish out there, catch one that will treat you right. It takes time but will happen, trust me on this one.
I give you a big hug, and hope you will take my words and make the best decision.
Chin up.......
Andrew
Pianoguy completely agrees with andrew1818's response to your post.
Your EX is just trying to find out how you're doing...as well as coping with the after-effects of divorce. However, he has NO DESIRE OR INTENTION to rekindle the romance. My best guess is that he wants to "share a few events" in his life with you because that's what the 2 of you probably did during your marriage?
I'm very sorry you lost your baby. It's a devasting setback. But try to remember one thing...please???
"Mr. Right" IS out there for you...and with every ounce of sincerity that I have today, I hope he finds you VERY SOON!
Pianoguy
Take care.
*hugs*
-bridget