so I met this girl...
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so I met this girl...
| Mon, 07-31-2006 - 5:36pm |
Well, more accurately, I have known her for two years. She's pretty amazing and we've become good friends.
About two months ago we crossed the friends line. We later said it was great and wouldn't be doing that again. We were wrong. Instead, the past two months (the past month especially) have been a full throttle adventure. It's been really, really good. Not just the sex (which is pretty good) but how really easy and natural our relationship is. We have so much fun together. We say that we'll talk in a few days but she always finds some reason to call me, very nearly every day. It seems we're both really happy to spend time together, talking or shopping or whatever.

<< Do I just let this go on, just keep quietly listening to her and reassuring her that *if* we get to that point, we can figure it out? >>
Her insecurities about the future might have to do with her age, might have to do with past hurts ... but hey, haven't we all had past hurts!? It's just a matter of not letting the past interfere with the present, and therefore, the future. Without knowing her, it's hard to say where its stemming from.
All I CAN say is that, while its not an easy position to be in ... when you're constantly reassuring an insecure person (though you say its that she's a pessimist, my guess is that its more about insecurity, due to failed relationships and being cheated on in the past) ... that, when/if something comes along that seems GOOD ... the insecurity and mistrust is like a defense mechanism (as though that can keep a person from being hurt! ) ... and unless SHE can CHOOSE to believe in your reassurances, there really isn't much more you can do other than give her what you've got to give.
Do you have the patience? ;-)
One thing you didn't mention though is, have you guys established an exclusive relationship? I mean, have you come right out and said "I'm not interested in dating anyone else, it's just you and me!" ... if not, while it may be assumed by you that she understands what you guys are, you'd be suprised how many women get insecure because they don't really know where they stand ... because the man hasn't come right out and said "I want you to be my girlfriend!" ... I know, it may seem obvious, but to many women ...unless they hear that in so many words, it's easy to get insecure and start questioning the future ... because, in the present, she may not really know what you guys are! While its great that you're listening and reassuring, you might get a better result if you just spelled it out for her exactly how you feel about her and what you want from the relationship ... not in the future, but for right now.
I hope that helps .....