So much of the "L" word

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
So much of the "L" word
5
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 3:45pm

So I just started seeing a guy about a month ago. I'm 27 and he is 32. We both agreed that we wanted to take things slow and develope a really healthy relationship because we see so much potential here. Things have been going just fantastic but I am starting to get confused. He is constantly using the word LOVE. It's always I love your sense of humor, I love our conversations, I love your smile, I love THIS about you, I love THAT about you...etc. Then I got a card yesterday signed "Love, ____". Whenever I have sent a card or email I always use XOXO, Nikki. We have not even had the "exclusive" talk yet so is it just me or does it seem too soon to be using the "L" word so much? Or am I over reacting and maybe he's just a lovey/dovey type of guy???

Thanks!
Nik

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 6:16pm

Nikki...

Pianoguy is wondering if this man is "testing the waters" to see how you TRULY feel about him?

So the next time he hits you with one of the 'terms of endearment' that you've described, ask him to be more specific and less generic. If he gives you some real examples, then you can ask him the fatal question:

DOES THIS MEAN WE'RE EXCLUSIVE?

Good Luck!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 7:58pm
Alot of people use the word love like the way your BF does. I use it the same way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 3:57am
I use the word "love" alot too but in terms of I love this or that like oh I love icecream LOL Not about a person I'm dating. He just sounds really affectionate and lovey dovey, but for me personally that is something that would scare me off. I'd freak out and dump him. That's what happened to the guy I was dating before my boyfriend. He kind of went too fast for me! He freaked me out with all his lovey stuff too soon!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 11:11am
I dont' see anything wrong with a guy saying he loves something about her. People do tend to overuse the word love so it doesn't mean as much to them to say it anymore. He sounds like an expressive guy, and that generally doesn't bother me, but if he "loves" everything then how do you really know if he truely LOVES you? You see, that is the part that would concern me about dating someone like that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 1:53pm

Hi Nik,

People use "love" in casual conversation all the time. That's probably just his way of saying that he really likes something. If he "loves" something about you, it's a compliment most likely and not a hidden declaration. As for signing "love" at the end of a note, email, or letter, it's a common closing to use when addressing someone you feel affectionate with.

The BIG "I Love You" dropping will probably wait until after exclusivity. Congratulations, you are dating someone who seems to be really into you!

Holly