So Ridiculous, But Please Help!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2006
So Ridiculous, But Please Help!!!
5
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 9:22am

My god, this is so totally ridiculous I know, but I just had to come and get your thoughts because honestly, I'm a little worried about something that happened last night… Now first let me start by saying that I'm 30 years old and feel like a total idiot for even asking about this, I feel like I'm caught right back in the middle of some high school drama, but there are some crazy people out there and you never know, so please any thoughts would be appreciated… Ok here it is:

I met a guy on the internet last week who said he was 26 years old. Usually I try not to date younger than me, but for some reason I gave this one a shot. We chatted (only online) almost every night, and for a while each time. I asked him twice if he had a girlfriend. He said no, his last relationship ended 6 months ago. Ok.. So we started making plans to meet that weekend for coffee. This was Thursday. Friday I get an email telling me sorry he wasn’t online, but he found out some friends of his got into a car accident, one died, one broke his back, the other 2 were bruised (supposedly). I had my doubts for some reason when I heard this, but I figured why would someone make up a lie like that and go to those description lengths. At the bottom he wrote "I do definitely wanna meet you soon. Can I have your number?" so I gave him my numbers (this is one mistake. I gave him my cell AND my house). He never called me. I did, however, get 2 hangups from a number I didn’t recognize on Friday. They hung up on my voicemail. I didn’t think anything of it. Then last night (here's the part that bothers me) I get 2 more hang ups on my voicemail, and then I get a text message that says "stay away from my boyfriend. He told me BS about meeting you. I found your number (the rest got cut off). After much thought about who it could be and the timing and everything, I figured it must be that this guy had a gf the whole time. But what I'm worried about is there are some really crazy people out there, and what if this girl is one? What if she found my home # too? I don’t think I'm unlisted, but I did a reverse listing check of my number and all it said was my town and that it was a landline. My main concern is that this person not be able to find out where I live. I already called my cell carrier and had her # blocked from sending me text messages. She can call (they cant block that they said) but they can block texts. So I figure I'll just screen my calls for a while and not answer anything unfamiliar.

I know this is so juvenile and I feel like I'm back in high school, but you can never be too careful for your own safety. Does anyone have any thoughts? What are the chances in something like this that the person could find out your address??

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 10:17am

If she has your home phone number it is not too big of a stretch to find an address.

Obviously you want to stay away from this man, he has issues. Since you haven't met this guy perhaps you can assume this lady is not sure you knew about her. I wouldn't panic yet. Next time, you may not want to share your phone number if you think a person can be questionable.

I doubt she is coming after you, but the next time she is able to contact you tell her to stop contact immediately or you will forward her information to the police.

Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

BTW, in small towns you can often find information about fatal car accidents from the media and other news sources. Next time someone tells you a tale like this, do some checking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2006
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 11:09am

Hi everyone,

A new development already… this morning the gf called my cell and must've tried to leave another text, saw that her number was blocked from doing so, and she now left a voicemail. I received the most horrid, unbelieveable voicemail I've ever ever heard. Every other word was the "F" word, saying that this is "so and so's girlfriend" (so atleast I know who it is now) and that I better do myself a favor and get my own boyfriend, and this message was screaming into my phone and went on and on for a good what seemed like 4-5 minutes… Then I got a text from him saying "f*** off b*tch"…I let the ladies I work with listen to this and they could not believe it. They said she sounds absolutely crazy and not the type of person that I should even try calling back and reasoning with, and I definitely agree. One even said I should go to the police and file a complaint because due to this I have now changed both my phone numbers and made my house one unlisted. I am actually very very scared right now and the only reason is I'm nervous that this crazy person will take my old home phone number and somehow get my home address because the number was published. If she's this nuts she can go to one of those paying sites and get info on me based on my number I think. I'm very shaken up now and scared. The kicker is when I first met this guy I told him straight out that I did not like him like that, he said he wanted to stay friends anyway, so we did, and he kept lying to me about things so I told him I didn’t want to talk to him anymore and to lose my numbers and email. Then all of a sudden this happens. What would you all do?? Please help, I'm scared.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 5:44pm
Sorry to read your posts. I guess anything can happen in dating and especially online but this sounds off the charts to me. I understand perfectly why you are scared and if I were you I would have someone come stay with you if possible. I know that might sound like overkill but you never know with people who are not able to keep their emotions in check what they will try and pull and tonight might get nervewracking whether or not something actually happens. Do you have friends or family nearby?
Also, I am confused about something. Did you ever actually meet this guy? When did you tell him that you only wanted to be friends and to lose your contact info? Did he himself actually text you and tell you to f off?? This just wasnt clear to me in your posts but I know you must be very upset.
Also, under no circumstances would I call back anyone like the woman you described. It will do no good because she is not operating with a full deck. It may even make things worse so whatever you do, keep ignoring those calls and texts. Sometimes responding at all just riles things up further.
Sorry again that you are going through this. If it gets any worse you may need to bring the police in on it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 10:08am

This has happened to me before, and in my case, I just got one voice message from a girl that said "stay away from my man, !" (He had neglected to tell me he was still involved

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 10:17am

I posted my response before I read your "continuation."