So Sad -- Advice please!
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| Thu, 09-23-2004 - 9:51am |
Now, 3 months into dating, he tells me he wants to take a step back. That he is not happy and has not been for a few weeks.
I asked him if he felt pressure from me, and he said a little. I have not asked him at all where we stand, or where we are going, so I am a little confused about the pressure. He told me that I knew that he is not good at relationships (his longest was 4 months)
About 3 weeks ago, he told me that I am the closest thing to perfect that he's ever met. And listed 50 things that he loves about me. Now, he tells me that he is not happy. I am sooo confused and sad.
I asked him where this left us. He said that he still wanted to date and spend time together -- just not as frequent. At first he said that he'd want to see other people, but I told him I could not do that and see him at the same time, because of where we are at. To make a long story short, we left it that we were going to take a step back, and NOT see other people. I told him that maybe the pressure that he is feeling is from me because I did not know where we stood. Now that I do know where we stand, I think whatever pressure he feels would be gone.
I told him that I only know how to be myself and that if I did something to make him feel uncomfortable that he should tell me -- becasue I can only act the way I feel.
I am 100 percent in love with him and am soo scared of losing him -- if I have not already. What can I do???? Advice please? Do you guys think that he cares, but is just scared?

I don't think there's much of a chance that things will work out. If he were really excited about you, he wouldn't need a break or to take a step back. I would either stop seeing him (and let him know that he could call you if he changed his mind) or decide how long you would continue to see him if he NEVER changed his mind about being unsure about you, and only see him for that much longer.
Did you watch Oprah yesterday? Your answer is in that book that she covered..."He's Just Not that into You". Men who are really into a woman rise above being "scared".
Sheri
I have fallen in love with this man -- and do believe him when he says he thinks I am perfect -- I need to see how he is with that if I take a step back...
I hope it works out.
Sheri
You gave this guy love and in return he's made you scared, worried and questioning yourself..."did I force his hand"..."did I do something wrong"...you did NOT do ANYTHING wrong. You asked for what you wanted & needed from him. Congratulations! That shows you ARE ready & able to have a healthy r/ship - too bad your guy isn't.
Good luck,
Go.
The key word here is that he said he is not happy.
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