So tired of the emotional rollercoaster

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
So tired of the emotional rollercoaster
2
Fri, 06-11-2004 - 11:15am
Dear Sherry,

I am so emotionally drained that I dont know which way to turn. I finally got the nerve to put my son's father out after our 5 year relationship. There was infidelity on his part more than once. The first time I found out he had cheated with 3 different women. Dont ever ask me what made me think he would change. Ofcourse he swore he would never do it again. Anyway a year or so later I found out he cheated again with one of the same women. He claims that he had stopped but I was constantly on his back and never believed him so he started it again. So about 3 months ago I kicked him out of the house. He has been living with her ever since.

We have a child and as a result we have been in contact with each other. But here is the kicker. I know in my mind that I shouldnt believe a word he says but we had 5 years together and there were good times. I dont know why but I still love him. I trying to let go. He claims he still loves me. There has been arguing back and forth and he's said things like why cant we take one day at a time and see how good things could be. Im thinking what? Then he'll say stuff like lets leave it up to fate. Well for about 2 weeks there has been peace between us. But now on two different occassions he has played love songs in the car when we were taking our son home. Again I am thrown for a loop. What kind of game is he playing. If he was serious about our family he would not have been with that other woman again, he wanted her more than me so why play songs for me now. Is there any chance he could ever be sincere?

Please help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Fri, 06-11-2004 - 11:28am
Im a firm believer that when the roller coaster ride is too much and your stomach just cant take it anymore, its time to get off.
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-11-2004 - 11:54am
Please don't take what I am writing "harshly" but I feel like screaming after reading your post. YOU DESERVE SO MUCH MORE! The guy CHEATED on you, hurt you, disrespected you...and you are melting over some love songs on the car radio? Thats not even close to any kind of gesture. He should be on his hands and knees BEGGING...and even then, I would not even consider giving him another chance. Yes, 5 yrs is a long time. Yes, there were probably good times...but why describe it as an emotional rollercoaster then? how good did it feel to find out he was cheating? how good does it feel to know he went straight to her place? Think about the level of intimacy, trust, etc their r/ship must have for that to happen - which means they've spent alot of TIME & INVESTMENT in each other. Time and investment that should have been spent with you. Good times that were rightfully YOURS.

You can love ppl who aren't good for you. Accept that you have. Recognize why it is that you feel this is the best you deserve. Then find a man who knows how to be faithful and treat you...they are out there.

Good luck!