So tired of the emotional rollercoaster
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| Fri, 06-11-2004 - 11:15am |
I am so emotionally drained that I dont know which way to turn. I finally got the nerve to put my son's father out after our 5 year relationship. There was infidelity on his part more than once. The first time I found out he had cheated with 3 different women. Dont ever ask me what made me think he would change. Ofcourse he swore he would never do it again. Anyway a year or so later I found out he cheated again with one of the same women. He claims that he had stopped but I was constantly on his back and never believed him so he started it again. So about 3 months ago I kicked him out of the house. He has been living with her ever since.
We have a child and as a result we have been in contact with each other. But here is the kicker. I know in my mind that I shouldnt believe a word he says but we had 5 years together and there were good times. I dont know why but I still love him. I trying to let go. He claims he still loves me. There has been arguing back and forth and he's said things like why cant we take one day at a time and see how good things could be. Im thinking what? Then he'll say stuff like lets leave it up to fate. Well for about 2 weeks there has been peace between us. But now on two different occassions he has played love songs in the car when we were taking our son home. Again I am thrown for a loop. What kind of game is he playing. If he was serious about our family he would not have been with that other woman again, he wanted her more than me so why play songs for me now. Is there any chance he could ever be sincere?
Please help.

You can love ppl who aren't good for you. Accept that you have. Recognize why it is that you feel this is the best you deserve. Then find a man who knows how to be faithful and treat you...they are out there.
Good luck!