someone help me please...i'm confused~~
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someone help me please...i'm confused~~
| Sun, 09-12-2004 - 10:29pm |
eLLo~
i'm currently 16 and is going out with a 19 yr old guy. we treat each other very well and really like each other. we just started less than 1 month ago.
he asked me if i could let him go and try dating other girls if he thinks he likes them. after a while, if he thinks they aren't compatible, he said he'll come back to me. well, i've agreed to it. but should i really agree or not? i really don't know... if one day he has to go, i'll just let him. i won't fight for it. but i'm still unsure if i should let him come back to me.. it seems like he's using me as a back-up...
i've thought abt it for sometime, and thus, decided to seek help here.. i really hope that someone out there could help me in this...i know i should concentrate on my studies first but i really like him...i never had this feeling towards him when i was with my previous steads....it's really the first time i felt this way...
Edited 9/12/2004 10:33 pm ET ET by jielin88
i'm currently 16 and is going out with a 19 yr old guy. we treat each other very well and really like each other. we just started less than 1 month ago.
he asked me if i could let him go and try dating other girls if he thinks he likes them. after a while, if he thinks they aren't compatible, he said he'll come back to me. well, i've agreed to it. but should i really agree or not? i really don't know... if one day he has to go, i'll just let him. i won't fight for it. but i'm still unsure if i should let him come back to me.. it seems like he's using me as a back-up...
i've thought abt it for sometime, and thus, decided to seek help here.. i really hope that someone out there could help me in this...i know i should concentrate on my studies first but i really like him...i never had this feeling towards him when i was with my previous steads....it's really the first time i felt this way...
Edited 9/12/2004 10:33 pm ET ET by jielin88

What??? I can't believe you are dating someone who wants to see other people and come back to you if it's not okay. Talk about having your cake and eating it! I hope you have a lot of respect for yourself and make sure if he goes away to be with other people he stays away. Why would he need to be with other girls if he's happy with you? You are way too young to be with someone like that and so i think you would be better off hanging out with your girlfriends and having fun rather than getting feelings that you could confuse for love etc at such an emotinal age as you are at. I'm not sure how far you've gone physically but there's also the risk of so many diseases out there and pregnancy also. You have so many years ahead of you, get a boyfriend who respects you or best of all wait until you're a little older before you get heavily involved with guys.
good luck to you.
Believe me it's going to be a lot easier if you break things off completely now and not when he finds someone else and you've become completely attached.
One rule that you should ALWAYS live by, NEVER SETTLE! Don't give in to someone else's agenda if it doesn't match your own- by giving in you will NOT guarantee that their agenda will change and match with yours. If he's wanting to date other women, but come running back to you if they don't work out, then he's not wanting anthing remotely serious with you. He wants to be able to have someone on the side in case the others don't work, so that HE can be fulfilled. But what about YOU?? Remember only YOU are going to have YOUR best interests at heart.
So either break it off with him, or go out and date other guys as well as seeing him. But be sure to let him know, if you intend to stay seeing him, that you will be dating other guys and using him as the fall back guy. If he doesn't like it, then he's going to have to break it off, isn't he?
Do what's right for you.
Alison
Well if you don't mind seeing him kissing and hugging other girls than you can certainly date him while he dates others. But if he wants to break up with you everytime a new girl comes around and then if it doesn't work out with her to come back to you. I definitely would not agree to that.
Men will do to you what you allow them too. Unless you stand up for yourself and say, I won't be disrespected in that manner, I'm not your doormat etc. Then he'll treat you that way. Personally I wouldn't want to be anyone's BACKUP!
and i will not nelect my studies...and yes, i'm still a virgin and i'm very happy being one. :D and will continue being one till i get married one day...
i'm still young and still has a long way to go...
i won't damage my own future, i promise.
really a big thank you to all of you. :D :D