sometimes i like him sometimes i don't

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
sometimes i like him sometimes i don't
2
Mon, 04-19-2004 - 5:29pm
Me and my boyfriend i admit moved pretty fast. We have only been dating for 4 months and i am already living with him in his house, and i have been for the past three, ehhhhh. He is so great. He loves me and treats me better than i ever thought a man could, he hasn't stoped trying to please me and make me happy, he makes me laugh, he is very funny. He makes me feel special. We have good conversation and we love each other's company. We don't fight or anything, but sometimes i look at him and wonder if there is better out there for me. Not because he isn't good enough but because his looks are not the greatest, i know that is terrible, that is why i am trying to overcome it. He is just to short and small for me, i am use to the bigger guy's. Steve is very small and i don't find that overly attractive. I am trying so hard to look past it, because i really like the person that he is. I think it will work out, i just have to give it time. He also gets excema which is a condition of the skin, where he gets all red and zit like, all over his entire body, it is gross, he doesn't have it yet, but it will come. But if i loved him, i should'ent care, but i do. I haven't been so confused about a relationship in my life. Even some things that he does i wonder about, what he says, or how he dresses, somethings i really dislike about him. And like i said i wonder if there is better out there. I think being with steve is the best thing for me, he treats me well and i just can't wait to get home to him at night. Thank you for your advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 04-19-2004 - 10:21pm

Hello cmavism, welcome to the board!


I don't know if I can give you much advice here... you sorta bounced back and forth in your post from one side to another... you are happy but you aren't... you like him but you don't...


What you have to do is settle down! You are going to have to decide what he is worth to you... what this relationship is worth to you... It strikes me as one who feels that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence and never satisfied with what they have... When you decide to jump the fence just make sure it is for the right reasons and at the right time...


It's up to you but you will either have to accept this man as he is or keep looking for... something...


tg

Terry Owens
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 8:23am
At 4 months, regardless of how fast you've been moving, you're still in the process of getting to know each other and forming an identity as a couple separate from your own unique personalities. This is an exploratory period and should be treated as such. That being said, the first six months a couple dates are the most precarious because at any given time one of you is likely to decide that the relationship is not working/you two are not compatible for the long haul. So, now is the time to have second thoughts and careful consideration for your potential. If you're going to back out, it should happen before either of you has a lot invested in the relationship. And that's where you are right now; having some second thoughts.

But there is a difference between second thoughts and lukewarm sentiment. If you could take or leave this guy at the end of the day and still get a peaceful night's sleep, then you really don't have what it takes to give the relationship your full attention (if not now, probably not in the long-term either) and that's not being fair to your boyfriend. If you are not interested in the kind of relationship he wants to pursue with you, he deserves to know. Don't you think it would be selfish to keep him as your boyfriend if you don't want what he wants from your relationship?

Just some food for thought. Either way, you need to get your head straight and clue him in if need be as soon as possible. Best of luck, and give us an update.

Ivy

georgiasugarbaby@yahoo.com