somone please give me hellppp!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2004
somone please give me hellppp!!!!!
5
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 2:10pm
OK, this is a little weird but love has it's way.3 summers ago my freind danny.(wich is a girl) interdouced me to one of her freinds. and we hung out at his house all summer and then he started to like me well i liked him to but im really shy and so he didn't think that i liked him. Well i did.And we flirted and did some things together but we didn't have sex at that time. so any way's i brought some of my freinds to his house to meet him and he ended up dating my freind kate only cause he thought i didn't like me and then eveuantly we started seeing each other behinde kates back for 3 years now and still going strong! and we aggred that we were just sex partners and i was fine with that cause he is way older than me.But then after the first year of us being together he tells me he loves me when kate was just in the bathroom im so glad she didn't here him.He say's that i will alway's come before her and when i need somthing he does do it for me and he let's me come over when ever i want and if kate's there he tell's her to go home beacuse"he has work to do" another words so i can come up.. but she's not suppose to know so shhh!But anyway's he told her that he loves her to. But when im there at his house when kate's there ya know cause me and kate are "freinds". He tells her that no way she can were a bell y shirt then he looks at me and say's but you can.Like all kinds of stuff like that right in front of her.But then he takes her out to places like dinner and stuff. But why that is. Is probley because no one can know that were together plus kate. But he does take me to like whashington and we go stay together for the weekend. i live in montana so of course it's like a vaction when i go over there and he doesn't ever take her. Im just teird of feeling like im in a compation. He asked me to move with him but no way my mom would let me so i had to say no. So kate went to live with him but he still comes and see's me and e-mails me.And he asked me to go live with him before he did kate. And he also expects me to not go sleep with any other guys but he can kate! I just want to know who he really loves me or her? somone please explain to me what's going on. This is so so confusing and i do talk to him about it and he say's iv'e always been before her but he's a guy i don't know if i can belive him? So i want you're guy's help? Does he love me or her?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 2:45pm
He doesn't love either of you. He's using you for sex and complimenting you or flirting with you so that you don't go anywhere. And he's using Kate for companionship. This is a man who gets all his self-worth from how many women are trailing after him.

If this story is true, it's time to grow up, because this relationship, is not a relationship, it's just sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 3:01pm
What you're experiencing is not real love. In fact, your post shows that you don't even have much love for yourself. Neither do I see any real true friendship involved here either. Love and friendship involve respect and consideration. Nobody in your post seems to have any respect or consideration for anyone. Everyone's betraying everyone else. Everyone's lying. Everyone's cheating. Everyone's disrespecting everyone else (while at the same time disrespecting themselves). Everyone's focused on ME: I'll do it b/c it makes ME feel good...to hell with how anyone else would be hurt by my behavior. Hope this helps shake some sense into you. IMO you're all headed for very troubled times. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 3:38pm
Are you not reading our advice? After two posts and several responses, you still don't have a clue. THIS GUY IS BAD NEWS AND DOES NOT LOVE YOU. You need to get out now before it gets worse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 4:11pm

I can't believe you think all this lying and cheating and sneaking around is OK.

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 2:15am
Iam sorry all i can come up with is " LOW" . Seriously u betray your friend over some guy that doesnt even have enuff balls to tell one of u off.U sleep with him like a helpless trash sorry i have to use this word but cmon dont u think you can do better?Find a guy who loves u for u be in a normal commited relationship and just love and be loved.Or sex is more important?Anyhow this is juss messed up, he doesnt love you.Man doesnt even know wut love is.Hope u do.