Sooo confused, Don't know what to do...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Sooo confused, Don't know what to do...
1
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 12:36am
HELP,

First I would like to say I've never written in before like this so I'm really not sure what to expect. I am bearly 21 and a senior in college. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. At times I feel as if he's the one, while at other times I think of going out and dating around. Well i finaly decided to break it off telling myself I could never love him the way he loves me. But right now I feel so lost with out him. I dont know what to do with myself at times. I try to stay busy in school and work. I talk to my mom about the way i feel and she says its normal to go back and forth. But i guess what I'm really asking is How do I know if he's the one? I'm the type of person that can't make a desicion on what to eat for dinner at times. Also my parent got divorced when i was little so i wonder if that has something to do with it. Am i just scared and running or am i blocking someone that loves me with all he can?

Hopefuly you can help,

lost and confused

chonchita83

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 1:33pm
I married my first boyfriend. And I wish that I hadn't because we were so inexperienced. They say that a guy needs to sow his oats before he marries...well, a girl does, too. It doesn't mean that you have to sleep around with a lot of men...but you should be free to grow up and stretch boundaries...move to a new city, make grown up friends, get a job, start a career, change to a new one, get your own apartment, manage your bills, travel, travel, travel, GET TO KNOW YOU AS A WOMAN, your potential and your limits. You've only had one adult relationship...given my experiences, I think you should go for more. Because if YOU'RE thinking what if, you know that he is, too. And the worst case is when you do marry and have children and THEN he says you know, I never checked it out with someone else (or you do) and then what?

A lot of your post reads to me more like I'm scared to check it out, than I really love him. It will be painful and after five years, how can you not be sad?? But you know what it is to be in love, to have a meaningful relationship...it will happen again for you. dont' stay with him becuase you're scared of life. You both deserve better.