Soooo confused! HELP!!
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| Sun, 11-27-2005 - 11:47am |
I'm going to apologize in advance because I have a feeling this will be long. I just want to make sure you know everything that's going on so you can give me your opinion!
WAY back in the spring this guy came in to deliver a package. I don't work in the shipping dept but had walked out of my office and noticed that he was very tan (and HOT!!!) and asked him if he'd been on vacation. He replied that he had not and I went on my merry way. Well next thing I know I hear the shipping girl ask if he has a gf and he says no and and then asks if she knows of any single women she yells for me. Well, I just booked it out of my office. I was so embarrased! And just so you know, there's not much that embarrasses or offends me.
Come to find out the he's the assistant manager for the delivery company so he doesn't deliver that much. Well for some reason, his name came up in conversation a month or two ago between me, the shipping girl and our normal delivery guy and they've all talked me into "wanting" (for a lack of a better word) him. In other words, that we should date or at least go on one. I've sent subtle hints to him and have even called him in the office on a couple of occasions. We chat and laugh. If he gets another call he asks me if I can hang on instead of hanging up on me. The only thing is that I think he thinks that everything that comes out of my mouth is a joke. Nothing I normally say is serious so everyone takes me with a grain of salt.
I went out on a limb and emailed him a couple of weeks ago on a Friday and asked him if he'd like to do something sometime? (My daughter was going to see her dad for a week so I had some free time.) This took everything I had. I was SOOOO nervous. I knew that he was supposed to work that whole weekend and then leave to Ft McCoy to teach. I didn't hear back, and I knew that he didn't check his email everyday so I assumed that he was already gone and he'd get it when he got back. Well then out of the blue, I get an email that following Tuesday! He was leaving on Wednesday morning and was going to have the drive through a snow storm etc.. WTF?! So I'm thinking he got my email and just completely ignored me!? My God! I'd have been happy with a "Thanks but you're ugly" email or "Sorry I like tall blondes". That would have been better than nothing at all!!!
I went out on Halloween with a couple of girlfriends and emailed him some pics and they're on his PC at WORK---as the screen saver!!!!!! (Again, the delivery guy told me.) He had emailed me and said that he'd gotten them and that he'd showed them to 30-40 people but I thought he was kidding. Oh, and the night that I'd gone out on Halloween (the Sat before) he was in DC running a marathon that Sunday, well we got home from the bar and there was an email waiting for me from him. I have no idea what my email said as I was a little "under the weather", and I know it took me a couple tries to email him back. I was on a friends laptop and I kept hitting the send button. I really don't drink that much and I hate being drunk. Well I remember emailing him something about sending him pics if he thought he deserved it. I know there was more but I can't remember what it was. when I'd apoligized to him and asked him what I'd said he wouldn't tell me but said it was ok and that it was very "erotic"!!!!!! HUH!? OMG!!!
Then I'm sitting here last weekend, maybe Sunday, and I get a message that pops up on my screen from my AOL messenger asking if I'd accept a message from him. WTF?! How'd he get that!? No one has it (my AOL name--all I can get is AIM, not AOL) except my old co-workers who are scattered around the US. Literally, I don't think 1 person in MI has it and I know that no one around here has it and that's for certain. My cousin/best friend didn't even know that I had it! I'm completely baffled. Obviously I accepted and he and I chatted for quite a while that night. I was floored the whole time and he wouldn't tell me how he got it. I can't remember what we were talking about but one of the comments that he'd made was that I was devilish.... in a good way.
So last Tuesday I decided that I was going to leave work early and go to the nearest shopping area (I live in a really small town, the nearest WalMart is 35 minutes away) to get some supplies before our big storm, well his office is on my way. A month ago he'd told me that he was going to come down and see us girls and bring us some doughnuts. Well he hadn't gotten the chance to get down to us so I decided that I'd bring HIM some doughnuts. :) I got there, shaking I was so nervous, and the door was locked! So I went around to the other side and that door was locked too. I knocked on the door but didn't hear anyone so I walked back to my car and was about to call my office to get his office number. I thought maybe he was in the bathroom or out w/ another driver. I just wanted to make sure he wasn't in the bldg. Well, out of the corner of my eye I see him walking towards my car! He was upstairs and thought he heard a knock but wasn't sure. (Keep in mind that he did have the option of coming outside or just letting me leave!) So we chatted outside for a while, I gave him the doughnuts. He said that he'd never gotten the email (he has AOL and I know they're not the most reliable company in the world). One of the delivery guys told him about the email (I'd told them). I asked him again how he'd gotten my AOL name and he wouldn't tell me. I'd explained that I normally don't even chat on it but I'd just come into contact w/ some of the pilots that I flew with 8 years ago so that's how I've been keeping in touch with them. Anyway, he had me talked into that when I'd upgraded my messenger that it pulled his name out of my address book and added him. Well, on my way home I thought about that and there's no way, because I wouldn't have had to accept a message from him. So I know he was not just added to mine. He wouldn't tell me how he got it and denied searching for me. I'm telling you, I highly doubt that he knows anyone that I used to work with. Like a 0.5% chance. While we were outside chatting, the phone rang so he ran inside to get it and told me to come in. We chatted in there for a while too. All in all, I was there for an hour and a half!!! There was no silence at all. We just talked and laughed. It was great. Everytime I talk to him I feel as if I've known him for 10 years. The other thing about him is that he's hot. All of the girls just fawn over him. He's tall, very lean and fit (he runs marathons), he has these amazing blue eyes that are the color of the ocean in Cancun. They're amazing. When he'd come out to the car, he wasn't the same guy I'd remembered. I remembered someone that was chisled and muscular (not as thin as he is), kind of like Prince Charming. Absolute perfection. And that wasn't the guy walking towards my car. But you know what? Yes, he is good looking, but the one thing that I associate w/ him when I think of him? His laugh. That is what I remember. He has the best laugh in the world and it just sits in my ears. He has the best personality. I could care less what he looks like. Well, during our hour and a half long conversation, Id told him that my cousins husband had just come back from Arkansas, he asked what he was there for and I told him the Guard and then he asked his name. Well come to find out they know each other. So I had to ask cousin's hubby about him, and he said that he's a really good looking guy w/ amazing eyes (he normally doesn't comment on any guys looks at all!!!), said that he's a really nice guy. Genuinelly nice. And when they'd be at guard and they'd go out, he wasn't looking for the next girl to come along. Oh, I almost forgot, before I'd gone up there, I'd consulted w/ my friends on my attire. We decided on the "good butt jeans" and an off white turtle neck sweater because it makes me look "nice". Well while I was there and we'd gone inside he told me that I had to write the guys a note on the whiteboard. (I know a lot of the guys that work up there and they all love me, D said that there's not a day that goes by that he doesn't hear my name. They tell me they don't know what's wrong w/ him.) While writing I quit and said I couldn't think of anything else to write and he said "no, please, write something else." Clearly, the jeans worked!!! :) I called him on it and he gave me that infectious laugh that he has.
When he and I chatted via AOL the other night he told me that he finds that most women up here are uptight an don't like to have fun and then said that he's gone 24 weeks out of the year w/ the military and what not, so it's hard to have a decent relationship with anyone. I told him that I'm the exception to the rule and that I like my alone time. I was a flight attendant so I'm not used to being w/ someone 24/7. I told him that I have references, which he thought was funny.
I was off of work on Friday and the pc that I'd ordered for my cousin came in so I called him to see if I could come up and pick it up since there are things that need to be done to it and I was off I figured I'd get a head start. I didn't have his office number at home so I called his cell phone and left a message. He did call back a few minutes later and said that there'd be no way he could get to it because it's underground or something like that. well, at least he knows I'm expecting a package on Monday!!! Then he asked me what I'd said to his brother and about me swearing at him. Uh oh! On Thanksgiving morning I'd seen that he'd come online to I sent a message saying "Hi Sexy B#*ch, Happy Turkey Day". Well I got a message back that it was his brother (one of them, he's one of 9 or 10 kids!!!!) I replied "whoops, I'm sorry, well D's brother, have a Happy Turkey Day. Eat lots, get fat and have a wonderful day". OMG! How bad did I screw up!? Well it's not like I expected anyone else to sign on to his pc!!! Anyway I told him what I'd said and profusely apoligized up and down. I felt horrible. The last thing I need is to piss someone in his family off before I even have a chance!!! Well he'd just kind of laughed and then we'd hung up.
Ok, so you can see, this isn't totally one sided. He emails me back and forth, he talks to me when I call him and isn't in a hurry to get off of the phone. When I was there and we were outside, he didn't tell me that I had to leave or he had to go, he invited me inside. I think that there's a little bit of attraction there, not just on my end or he wouldn't give me the time of day. My personal feeling is that maybe he was dating someone that he was really into and she couldn't deal w/ him being gone so often or whatever. What do you think? What should I do? Should I call him up this week and ask if he'd be interested in doing something next Sat? My Christmas party is in 2 weeks and I thought about inviting him to that but I don't know if I should or not. I would like to do something w/ him this weekend or whatever day he's available but I just dont' know if I should ask him or what I should do!!! I just want him to see that I'm not like most of the women up here and I'd like a chance to show him that much. I think he already knows but I think he's scared. I'm guessing he hasn't been on a date in a long time. HELP!!!!!

Hi ima_halfpint -- I love your name! Welcome to the board.
Just so you know where this advice is coming from, I am the type of woman that believes men should ask women on dates, and that they should pursue us. With that being said, I don't think you should ask him out again. You did once, he knows about it now. He could have totally followed up and asked you out from there, but he didn't. From what I've learned, if a
I agree with bklynchik.
Hon, for me... I didn't mean that you were the only one involving your co-workers, it seems it may be the climate of your office.
Let me ask you this though--what are you thinking about what we've said about not pursuing him and such?