staying over-need advice!!!
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staying over-need advice!!!
| Wed, 07-26-2006 - 10:18am |
I've been seeing a guy for about 2-3 months now and we have been having sex for a majority of the time. When we first started having sex I ended up spending the night with him. He told me at one point after the first few times that having someone sleeping in his bed was something he would have to get used to again (he's been divorced a long time, I'm recently divorced). I told him I understood and I didn't have to sleep there until he was comfortable with it. The next week however he had me sleep over again. This was always on Saturday nights (because I work on Saturday and prefered not getting together on Friday or keeping it a short night). Well, a couple of weeks ago he mentioned getting together on Friday instead of Saturday (he had a family thing he was attending). So, that was fine, we ended up going back to his house and we did have sex and later he took me home. Well, ever since then he has only mentioned getting together on Fridays and I'm starting to wonder if it's because he doesn't want me sleeping over. If that was the case I'm more than happy to go home on Saturday nights and I've made that clear. Just so you know, there is more to our relationship than sex, we meet each other for dinner a couple nights a week and we talk on the phone some--so it's not a "booty call" type situation. We are exclusive and we both feel like this relationship is very possibly the "one". But the sleeping over thing is concerning me--any advice?

kitkat2626...
A male point of view from Pianoguy....which is open to argument from everybody:
There are SOME MEN who love to have a woman in their beds for S-E-X....but after "the deed is done"....they want to take you home! This way, they can avoid any sort of 'after sex cuddling' and especially waking up beside you on "The Morning After!" .
I think there are probably several reasons why a lot of men aren't comfortable with sleepovers, but here are my two....
1. Unless MUTUAL EXCLUSIVITY has been firmly established between both halves of a couple, a woman can automatically assume that the guy she just slept with...DOESN'T SLEEP WITH ANYBODY ELSE? And as most ivillage women have pointed out on these boards in the past, finding out that they were just one of many SEX-SLEEPOVER partners---doesn't particularly make them very happy?
2. Sometimes men snore...roll over in their sleep...and basically HOG the entire bed! When a woman is beside us (irregardless of the size of the mattress)...we're a bit more restricted when it comes to our...err..."nocturnal manuevers!" :)
Pianoguy
Also, mutual exclusivity has been established. No doubts on that. Once again, he brought it up--not me.
As for the last point you made--well, maybe that could be it. He has said he's used to laying spread out in the middle of the bed. So, if that is it or even if it's not, why not just tell me--I've given him opportunity.
Why don't you just ASK him? That seems so obvious to me though...so maybe I'm missing something? But I don't see what the big deal would be about asking him directly what's up with getting together on Fridays instead of Saturdays.
Sheri