Still Have Feelings For Ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2004
Still Have Feelings For Ex
2
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 10:24pm
I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years now, and I think I may still have feelings for an ex. We're still friends, and talk online, and occasionally on the phone. I think about him constantly, flirt, and I am jealous when he talks about other women in his life. I'm not sure if I still have feelings for him, or if it's something more than that. I thought that maybe if I spent a day with him I would be able to figure out what it is that I'm feeling, but my bf would never be okay with me hanging out with my ex. My bf doesn't know that I may still have feelings for my ex, and I don't want to tell him, because I'm not even sure if they are indeed there or not. Why cause unneccessary problems? I'm confused and I'm not sure what to do. I love my bf, but I miss hanging out with my ex. Am I still in love with him? Is my relationship with my bf doomed?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 10:41am
Hello confused, welcome to the board!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 11:45am
What caused you to break up wtih this guy in the first place if he was so great? Missing someone is not the same thing as wanting to be with someone. Is there a posibility here that your longing to be with him is based on fantasy and that you've forgetten why you broke up? Was he your first love?
I think that you are possibly walking the line of having an emotional affair- what do you think? You're sneaking in things with someone else behind your bf's back. Would you behave like this with your bf right there?
Maybe you're with your current bf for the wrong reasons...it doesn't sound like you're excited about him or that he even had a chance when you've been longing for and missing the x...for the entire two years? If you're not excited about being with him, you should break it up. Solely on that reason, not because you want to pursue something else.
Some people can be friends with their x's...but they are genuine friends, not holding onto a hope that they'll get back together. I think you sound like the latter. True friends celebrate new lovers and relationships...they want happiness for their friends. I think you have a lot to think about. Good luck figuring it all out.