still in love with ex
Find a Conversation
still in love with ex
| Sat, 04-24-2004 - 10:59pm |
i do not know what to do me and my ex broke up after 4 years 3 months ago and i still love him he dating someone new now and so am i but i am doing doing good at it because i am still in love with him i did brake up with him but i did it when i was mad (he went out with his friends on my b-day and left me at home alone and pregrant)and i asking him if we could get back tgether and he told me he does not have thiose feeling for me anymore and we still talk a lot and spend time together amnd i just need some adive on how to stop ccaliing him and going over there and how to get over him thank you

i refuse to speak to the guy until i know for sure i won't mistake his kindness for a show of affection (meaning i'm over hoping we'll ever get back together...and better yet, i'm over him). if he attempts to start a conversation, i'm polite to him, but after it starts shifting towards the personal (the way we used to talk) side, i immediately inform him that it is hard to get over him when we talk like this and wish to talk less. of course, i try to make it so that we could still potentially be friends later on down the road when we're both over each other.
this is also the time that i make the most use of my friends. it's good to have people to talk to when i'm down or people to go out with when i want to forget and have fun. also, i like to start a new activity to fill up the time i had previously allocated to him. it keeps me busy and my mind from drifting towards missing him.
i hope your friends, new activities, and will to not approach him should suffice to crunch those urges. best of luck!
You said he left you pregnant? Well, any man that leaves the mother of his child before she has the child is no man at all. Do you really want to be with someone like this, or are you still in love with the man he used to be when things were good? You have to take it all into consideration. It's hard, I know. It's taken me over a year to figure all of this out for myself. There are no easy answers, and most of them you have to find out yourself.
I hope this helps a little. I know things will get better.
my heart goes out to you - it's not easy & i understand you oh so well
you have already been given excellent advice on not contacting him and involving yourself into other activies. trust me, this is the best thing you can do for yourself. life goes on. it's scary, it's unbelievable, but it does.
when we fall in love with someone our life starts evolving around this person - natural but not good at all. because the other person starts taking it for granted and one day we discover that "he no longer has the same feelings". there's so much more in this life that crying your eyes out for a guy who left you on your b-day. if he is a jerk, it's good that you guys broke up, even if he is not, even if he is the sweetest person in this world and the only one you have ever loved - it all fades away when compared to the statement that he does not want to be with you anymore. not easy to accept and to move on, but some things in life we can do nothing about rather than accepting them as they are.
many months ago my bf and i split - we were so strong, so much in love that it seemed impossible to accept the fact that it was over. as a true fighter for my happiness i did everything to save the relationship. but i saw that relationship is built with 4 hands, not 2 and alone i could do nothing for us. because he did not help me to save it.
do not contact him - tell him that you need some time - for yourself. he needs to understand and respect your wish. get in touch with your friends, let them surround you with their love and care. during my first months after break- up my "gang" literally saved me from depression. explore the world, start a new hobby (i learned french language in these 10 months and started yoga classes - great stuff by the way!), do things that you love and spend time with people you love. and for God sake, do NOT think of him, stop any thought, any memory that hurts you. put all his pictures, letters, music, etc aside in a box that you can't easily reach. forget about it.
gradually you'll stop hurting and will move on. trust me, you will. and some day you'll remember these days with a smile thinking how silly you were to be upset over this guy
warm regards and all the best to you
N