summer trip - meeting family?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2006
summer trip - meeting family?
3
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 2:32pm

I'm planning a summer trip in August with someone I've been seeing about 3 months. We want to see my hometown and also do some travelling within the region. I now live in his area of the country and he's played tour-guide to me since we've met, showing me the area and where he grew up.

It would be strange for me to not see my parents if I went home. He seems open to meeting them although I'm not sure how much time to spend with them. My parents are divorced and both live in different cities about an hour's drive from my "hometown". I was thinking to stay in my hometown (at a hotel) and then have lunch/dinner at my father's and at my mother's house at some point while we're close by before doing some travelling.

I'm worried about what he might think of the fact that I would only see my family for a few hours after having not seen them for months. In the past, when I would be in town, I would home-base at my ex-husband's place (even when he was gone to be with his own family on holidays) and then visit family for the day. I just prefer to be with my family in small, controlled doses when I'm back -- and I'm afraid how that might look. Obviously, staying at my ex's place is completely out of the question these days!

I guess I haven't been in the situation where I would stay in a hotel while at home. I'm just worried about how this will look to him.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 3:23pm

I doubt he'll think much about it at all...you're going to be there with HIM and the two of you haven't been dating long, so what would the alternative to staying in a hotel be--have him stay with you at one of your parent's homes? I don't THINK so ;-)!!!

Do you *want* to spend more time with your parents one on one, other than having a meal with each of them with your friend there? Then I'm sure your guy would be fine with amusing himself for an afternoon or something while you do that.

But if you don't, don't do it just because you're afraid of what he'll think! If you're not all that close to your family, you're not. Don't pretend for his sake. It's hardly rare.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2006
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 3:47pm

Thanks, Sheri.

It always rings in my ears that if a person hasn't fully dealt with all of their family issues, personal issues, work-related issues, past relationship issues, then having a healthy relationship was out of the question. Maybe I *have* dealt with my family issues: we're cordial and love each other, no doubt, I'm just not that close to them, not now, most likely going to stay that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 9:16pm
Be honest with him about how you feel about your family and the reasons why. It can open up a good dialog. If you're trying to build up a relationship with someone you shouldn't hide who you are. What's his relationship like with his family? I'm sure not perfect.
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